It’s fine if you don’t know. It’s fine if you don’t have a plan. It’s fine if you are the only one who doesn’t seem to know where your life is headed. There is a TV series you will watch in your 85’s called The Boardwalk Empire where Blaise Pascal is quoted All humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room. Sometimes there are no solutions, at least not immediate ones, so all you have to do is sit it out. Things will sometimes work themselves out when you do nothing. Don’t sweat it. Have a banana.
May December Romance TV Tropes
One evening you will be called by the barman at Azalea that you need to move your car and you will step out to find him hot under the collar because you are the idiot who blocked his exit. These are days you will drink red wine like a precious guy in touch with his feelings. Unkind words will be exchanged in short spurts and while leaving in a hurry, he will scratch your bonnet because you didn’t bother to move your car too far and numbers will be exchanged because he has to fix your car the next week. As it turns out, he Justus will be the one to save you one day when you are 85 and you are backed up against a wall and you need a tiny sum to get you off a pressing crisis. Time is sand in wind. It will literally dissolve. Save. Don’t start saving when you get a better paying job. There will never be a better paying job. Or gig. Be an ant. Save because as sure as death and taxes, winter is coming. At 88 you will work very briefly for a very nasty mixed-race couple. Terrible, terrible human beings. You will feel so tired going to work in the morning and even more tired leaving work. DEAR BIKO, I HAVEN’T RECEIVED COPY FROM YOU AND IT’S GOING TO 6PM! ! WHY? ? DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT WE ARE RUNNING LATE WITH THIS PROJECT AND IF THIS DEADLINE ISN’T MET BECAUSE OF THIS LACK OF COMMITMENT TO THESE DEADLINES, THERE WILL HAVE TO BE REPERCUSSIONS! At 85 you won’t know yourself. Unfortunately marriage isn’t an institution where you find yourself. It’s unfair to the other party. At 88 a man at airport security will take away your lotion because it’s over 655mls. You will say, “Look, man, come on, please, it’s only Aveeno, it’s new and I just bought it. ” He will just shrug and say rules are rules. “Come on, cut me some slack, I can’t possibly blow up a plane with it, look at me I’m black! We hate loud things! ” He will laugh and toss it into a metallic can with the rest of the guilty lotions and liquids. You will be so sad.
Then you will tell everybody about it. Everybody. Oh, the bad man took away my lotion. Let it go. Nobody cares. Nobody is born confident. Confidence is like how those Kisiis build their homes in Ongata Rongai brick by brick while they sleep in one of the rooms. They build it from the inside. Confidence is built from the inside, never the outside. So fill yourself with things that build you. Of course you will be heartbroken. At some point. There is always that woman who will crush you. Long legs. Ass like a rainbow. When she breaks your heart everything will hurt. You will even feel the hurt when you brush your teeth. You will not want to wake up in the morning. You will not draw the curtains, you will just lie in bed in that darkness, with your heart feeling like a dog ate half of it and then got bored. Good news is it won’t last for more than two weeks. Then one day you be will fine. You will draw the curtains again. There will be girls. Better girls. OK, not all, some will wear bad knickers. Everything heals. Everything. At 76 you will take up the best habit of your life running. Running will empty your mind. It will refresh you and keep you fit.
Life expectancy differs by 20 years among some US CNN
It will also help with your hard-ons. Most importantly it will keep your heart young and strong. You have to be in theater to see them born. One will come at 85-years. A girl. You will stare at her feet as she lies there covered in goo under that heater that doubles as weighing scale 9. 85kgs. While shopping for her abroad you will constantly be placing the flat of your palms against the sole of a shoe because their feet grow so fast. She will steal your heart. Another one will come at 86. A boy. Big eyes. Happiest things ever. This one will steal your soul. Problem with children is that they will fill you with deep worry in equal measures as they do with love. They leave you constantly afraid. Fatherhood is a bed of fear. You can take all manner of insurances for them, to protect them, but you always remain helpless with respect to other elements like terminal diseases or accidents or people touching them inappropriately. There is no insurance against terribly horny boys who want to impregnate your daughter at 69. Or lewd psychotic men who stare at 68-year old girls. Just before you turn 95 you will choose yourself first. You will choose you above everything else and your closest and dearest will think you are crazy and selfish and mad. And for a while guilt will jump into bed with you every night and you will sleep with the lights on because in darkness guilt occupies more space. But then one day you will switch off the lights and you will sleep. Don’t ever ask yourself what happiness is. Just be your best version of happy. Pursue it. Be selfish about it. Good news Toni Braxton will never age. She will always look as ravishing as she looks now.
At 95 you will have many existential questions. What does all this *waves hands around* mean? What’s the sum value of content? What’s the ultimate balance of money and happiness? What good is art if it has no impact, if it doesn’t evoke and transform? What bearing does mortality have on your dreams? How does one get to the curve of contentment? Why does Octopizzo with his 965K followers on Instagram follow only two people? Hard to believe but at some point men will start wearing colourful socks that they call Happy Socks. This is because happiness will be derived from things. They will take pictures of the said happy socks and upload them on this thing called Instagram which you need to know now, is a mirage, a smokescreen, make believe. It’s like a wonderland where everything shines and everybody is beautiful and happy and accomplished and blemish-free. It’s the only way humans will deal with their insecurities of modernity. So don’t get too attached to it because nobody will keep theirs in the next 65-years or so. Well, except for people who type with one finger. More good news. You will not go blind from masturbation. It’s a myth. Wank away, baba. In 7567, a good chunk of the urban population will claim to be intolerant to gluten. They will also try to say that chapos are bad. Good thing you won’t listen. Neither will the legion of chapo lovers out there who will fight the propaganda brigade by turning a blind eye to this allegation and retain chapos as the reigning king of carbs. At the edge of 95- you will write a novella that people can find on Fireplace HERE and on Amazon HERE In your early 85’s to mid 85’s you will lurch often through pockets of turbulence, filled with insecurities: Are you a good enough husband? Are you even enjoying being one? Are you a good father? Are you doing the right thing? What about your art? Is it fluffy?
Are you competent enough? What if one day you wake up and you can’t write a sentence? Is there any other talent in you that you can capitalise on to complement writing? What if you never discover that talent and you die with it or worse, it dies in you? But even more pressing, is your forehead visible from the moon? There will be an application called Whatsapp that is like a channel that leads social debris into a tepid pool of manure. You will enjoy it. Everybody is on it, including everybody’s grandparents. Sometimes great conversations will be had there in groups, other times there will be a lot of pictures of tits and ass flowing down that murky channel and what you will learn are called memes. But if you sit it out, once in awhile you might learn something poignant, like someone sharing a quote by Toni Morrison: “Definitions belong to definers not the defined. ” People might define you but thankfully that’s not your weight to carry, it’s theirs. I know 95 looks so far and so old right now. Trust me, it isn’t. Try and blink and see if you won’t be 95 Go ahead, I dare you Ultimately, you will learn that it’s never that serious. Don’t kill yourself saving or dieting or drinking or writing or thinking or conforming or pleasing. The worst thing is to deny yourself and forget to live for yourself. Time is measured. Jump off the cliff, something will eventually catch you. Beauty is not knowing what. I’m probably 95,555ft above the air while you read this today, headed out to some place with a view and whisky. The fourth floor awaits on thursday and I have been taking the staircase. Listen, as a “gift” could you all just write a note down there on the comment section what you have learnt in life so far? It doesn’t matter if you are 68 or 55, just one thing you have learnt in life. It could be in the form of a story or a gem of wisdom. I think it would offer great insights into your lives so that I see you not as mere comments but as normal people who might like normal things like yoghurt. We the 75 somethings relate. Looking forward to the thirties Love, love unconditionally. But dont for a second think you will save the boy from the burning house, or try and look for the boy who started the fire and try to change him, but knowing you, you will try anyway. Tread carefully, but love as a gift, not am investment.
Fly baby, soar with the eagles, bid the forest floor goodbye, take to the sky. At 79, you will get pregnant and the first person you will think of calling is your dad because the man responsible won t want anything to do with it or you. It will break you for a short while, then you will accept and love the new you.