A journalist and author s musings on love, marriage, divorce and lifeHere s what s happened in the past year two girlfriends have gotten engaged, and one has her condo on the market and is looking with her boyfriend to buy a new place and move in together. They are all 55-something, empty-nesters and divorced. Who says middle-aged women can t find love again? We re perpetually fed a line that we re looking for love in a market that doesn t value us, says Marina Adshade, an economics professor in Canada and author of Dollars and Sex: How Economics Influences Sex and Love. We meaning older women. Like my friends. Like gulp!
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Me. In a talk before boomers (you can watch it below), Adshade says older women really aren t disadvantaged on the dating market. If that were true, they would be lowering their standards. But that has not been the case, she says. In fact, she notes that older women are a lot more selective than older men and younger women are when it comes to picking a partnerIf anything, it s more of a level playing field when it comes to midlife dating.
That said, the dating market for older singles isn t all that easy. There just aren t that many available singles our age and the ones who are available are an interesting lot (read to understand). However, with the, there are a lot more older people available than ever before. So, because of that and the fact that we live longer, she says, it s worth putting the time and energy into looking for love regardless of your age. The difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don t necessarily want the same things.
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That may be true for younger people, but that isn t always the case at this age, she says. Because men have shorter lifespans, many older men are interested in having a potential caregiver or a nurse with a purse. They tend to than older women, but it isn t because older women can t find a hubby it s because. That isn t true for my three girlfriends, but it s true for me. She believes and I agree that more people need to talk openly about this because all older women hear (and thus believe) is that older men are only looking for much younger women.
OK, many of them are. But are they getting them? Not really, unless they re wealthy and powerful. (And I have always believed that it s good to identify those men and remove them from the 55-something dating pool ASAP I m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! ).
I, too, am not looking for a husband (although I m not necessarily against marrying), but I most definitely would like a partner uhh, with conditions. A r. They wanted both. I do, too. In fact, many said they were not interesting in caretaking ever again they d been there and done that.
But they were not willing to compromise on losing their sense of freedom, to the point that they were willing to be lonely before sacrificing independence. I don t want to be alone or lose my freedom is it possible to have both without having to become a wife again?