Q: My girlfriend and I are Christians but we are sexually active. We know we are in the wrong and that God s teaching tells us to be pure and wait till we are married. What makes matters worse is that I am currently four hours away at school and every time we see each after being apart a week or two (even when we have had full intentions of not being sexual) we end up falling into our old habits. I have your book but was wondering what would be the best way to get out of this cycle and get right with God? A: First of all, I m thankful that this couple is concerned about it. In today s world, many couples are not concerned about it.
How About We Connect with Singles in 3 Easy Steps
They are just simply having sex with each other every time they get together, and that’s the central part of their lives. They’re not married, don’t know if they’ll ever get married, and are just enjoying each other’s bodies. Most people who live together before they get married don’t get married and those who do have a higher divorce rate. I think I would say two things. You’ve already agreed that this is not the biblical pattern and thus is not a healthy pattern.
Now you have to find a way to break that pattern. That’s why I think God reserved them for marriage. Sex was designed to be a deep bonding experience between a husband and wife. What you’re experiencing is that deep bonding between the two of you even though you’re not married. Consequently, you’re drawn back together.
Planet Rock Dating
The key is that you don’t allow yourself to be together in a sitting where you’re alone or private because if that happens, you’re very likely to be back in the same routine. The longer you can go without being involved sexually, the easier it will become for you, because you’ll be finding pleasure in getting to know each other and discussing life with each other. You mentioned you had my book I’m assuming you re talking about. I think to work through that book would make wonderful dating experiences for you. The more you get to know each other apart from sexual activity, the more you’ll be able to make a wise decision to marry or not to marry.
Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 8 million worldwide and has been translated into over 95 languages. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn. For more information visit 5lovelanguages. Com. Hoping and praying that this answer would help prevent many others from falling into sin.
I have exactly the same problem with my girlfriend but we haven t had sex and i hope we don t. I can control myself but every time we kiss too much it leads into a next thing and she gets really turned on and all hell breaks loose. I want to find a way to break that habit out of her. PS. She said so not me.
I would actually strongly advise that you guys don t kiss if it is what keeps getting you two into trouble. In marriage, when kissing, sex and the whole shabang are allowed, you will need other wholesome ways to keep things interesting.