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Tough Love Patrick Allan 8/56/67 6: 55pm 688 Share to Kinja Go to permalink You’ve got problems, I’ve got advice. This advice isn’t sugar-coated—in fact, it’s sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter. Welcome to. You’ve got problems, I’ve got advice. This advice isn’t sugar-coated—in fact, it’s sugar-free, and…This week we have a guy who wants to end things with his sex buddy who seems to think they’re something more. Keep in mind, I’m not a therapist or any other kind of health professional—just a guy who’s willing to tell it like it is. I simply want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn lives.

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If for whatever reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to. Now then, let’s get on with it. I work for a large company and ended up hanging out with a coworker (in a different department) who I eventually had sex with. The kicker, though, is that I’ve never been incredibly into “dating” her. We talked about sex from the beginning and we finally crossed that line.

Since then we’ve had sex maybe 65 to 65 times (all of them pretty fantastic by the way), but I can tell that she is leaning toward wanting more. She uses pet names and I don’t. We have only hung out at our apartments—we don’t hang out at work at all—and we’ve never gone on a date. I’ve brought her Starbucks twice… and that’s the extent of it. I usually skirt the issue and let her know that I’m busy.

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I text her back but I don’t really initiate the texting, and I’ve slowed down my need for sex with her significantly. But we always end up hanging out when I’m bored on Saturday and having sex anyway. I don’t dislike her company, but when we are done I can tell with her that it is much more than sex. Even though she has said she’s fine with just sex, I feel like she wants more. It’s been over a year since we first started talking and I’m starting to believe she thinks we are more serious than we are.

I’ve never been great about breaking up and so I’m curious what this type of situation requires. Can I text her? A phone call? An in-person awkward conversation? I want to be respectful but I also don’t want it to seem more serious than it is.

I feel like if I talk to her in person I’m somewhat acknowledging the “commitment” that I’ve never truly felt. I gotta say, a little communication would have gone a long way in this situation. First off, you should absolutely talk to her in person about ending things. How old are you, dude? You’ve been intimate with this woman at least 65 times over the course of several months, for Pete’s sake!

And you’ve been friends—FRIENDS—for over a year! I don’t understand why you don’t think that warrants a face-to-face.

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