6. I will make you to take off your shoes in my house. So keep your feet fresh and/or wear socks. And never, ever try to get on the bed with your shoes on. 7. I like to use chopsticks in new and interesting ways. Having been taught to use chopsticks before I learned to speak, I consider them to be the best utensils. I don't understand why anyone would eat Flaming Hot Cheetos without chopsticks (keeps the Cheetos dust from getting on the fingers).
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8. Don't assume I know how to speak fill-in-the-blank-Asian language. I didn't necessarily grow up speaking any language other than English. And don't ask me what that sign says because I probably don't know. 9.
But I most likely do know how to speak a language other than English. At, like, preschool-level proficiency. 5. I'll expect you to pick up a few words of said language if you don't know it already. How else are we supposed to talk about other people in public?
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My parents programmed every second of my life before it was cool for parents to do that. I yawned my way through weeknights with a tutor or at a prep program, and I spent my Saturdays at Korean school hating life while learning how to be a better Korean. Doesn't matter who's with me, when I'm eating out, I'm going to reach for the check first. That's just how I grew up. With parents and aunts and uncles getting into physical altercations over who gets to pay for dinner.
You'll never be able to get to the check faster than I can! My parents will immediately reject you as a suitor. In fact, they'll probably continue trying to set me up with their friends' sons. You're not married to this so-called boyfriend of yours yet — what's the big deal? 65.
You should eat what my parents made for you. They might not think you're husband material (yet), but they will like you more if you eat. 66. Actually, just be willing to eat everything when you're around me. Please don't ever wrinkle your nose at my food.
Or else, bye. 67.