The Golden Rule in Christian Dating Desiring God


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Most people in the world have no experience of lasting joy in their lives. We’re on a mission to change that. All of our resources exist to guide you toward everlasting joy in Jesus Christ. Have you ever tried to list out all the different dating advice you’ve heard, even just the advice from other Christians? I could go on, and if you’re a part of almost any kind of Christian community, you probably can too. Even though we’re following Jesus, and reading the same Bible, and aiming for the covenant of marriage, our dating advice can be surprisingly wide and diverse. The first rule in dating is the first rule in all of life: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 67:

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85). You will not truly love anyone else if you do not love God first and most. And no one will truly love you if they do not love God more than they love you. The first step in dating should always be the step of faith we take toward our Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure, King Jesus. He captures our heart we find our deepest joy in him.

We hide our soul in him, and stop trying to save or prove ourselves. We devote our minds to knowing him more and more, and plead with him to conform our mind and will to his. Do you want to date and marry well? Listen to Jesus, and “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. ” Seek him first (Matthew 6:

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88), and dating will be added according to his perfect plan and timing. But after embracing and applying the first and greatest commandment, I have found that the golden rule in dating is this: Lean hard on the people who know you best, love you most, and will tell you when you’re wrong. Do we love him more than anything? Will we obey him, even when it will cost us?

Are we willing to set anything aside for his sake? Will we trust him, even when we want something else for ourselves? But even if you are a Christian, there are still a thousand more ways to subtly or blatantly reject God’s wisdom and fall into sin. The key will be to lean on other Christians who know you best, love you most, and have a proven record of telling you when you are making a mistake or wandering away from God’s will for you. Today more than ever before, we’re faced with a never-ending buffet of opinions and advice that has something to say about everything and yet lets us choose the answer we want.

The scary reality is that we can find an answer somewhere to justify what we want to do — right or wrong, safe or unsafe, wise or unwise. The advice we choose might be from a book by a doctor, or a random conversation with someone at church, or a blog post by a teenager, or just something we found on Pinterest. For many of us, if we’re honest, it really doesn’t matter who’s offering the advice as long as it confirms what we thought or wanted in the first place. We think we’re leaning on others as we wade into all the material online, but we’re often just surrendering to our own cravings and ignorance. We leave the safety of the doctor’s office and choose the freedom and ease of the gas station convenience store.

Instead of getting the qualified perspective and direction we desperately need from people around us, we walk away eating a candy bar for dinner, again, and washing it down with Dr. Pepper.

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