Home Dating During Divorce


If you're thinking about dating before your divorce is final – DON'T! Emotions are raw during a divorce. When you start seeing someone else, it is like rubbing salt into your husband's wounds. Believe me, he will likely react to the fact that you are dating by making your life hell during the divorce process. He may seek revenge to compensate for the anger, hurt, and embarrassment that he feels you have caused him. Even if your husband has carried on numerous affairs during your marriage, he will not think that you are justified in seeing someone new at this time. All he will focus on is that he has been wronged and will want to seek justice anyway he can. He may try to even the score by fighting about custody of the children or how to split the marital estate.

Dating During Divorce Should You Consider It

You will most likely have ongoing contact with your husband after the divorce because of the children. Dating during your divorce can poison the spirit of cooperation and affect your life for a long time after the divorce is final (and possibly after your boyfriend is history). As far as the courts are concerned, you are still legally married until the divorce is finalized. In states that recognize fault in a divorce case, dating during your divorce can be viewed as adultery. This can affect the outcome of your divorce as far as child custody and visitation, spousal support, and the eventual property settlement.

Even if you have been separated from your husband for a while, dating during your divorce can be used to help prove marital misconduct during your marriage. It can look like you have questionable morals, even if you were the perfect wife during your marriage. To top it off, a really vindictive husband might consider suing your boyfriend for alienation of affection. You need to be especially careful if you have children from your marriage. Not only will both you and your husband's conduct be scrutinized during a custody case, but also so will be the conduct of your boyfriend.

Is It Okay to Date During Divorce NY Divorce Attorney

If he has a shady background, it will be used against you. Any person who has frequent contact with your children can become part of a custody investigation. If there are past issues of domestic violence or charges of sexual misconduct (proven or not), it will have repercussions in your divorce. Another consideration that you should think about if you are considering living with your boyfriend is that it will affect the level of support you may eventually receive. Even if you ultimately get custody of your children, child support levels may be lowered because you are living with someone and sharing the expenses.

It can also have a big impact on whether or not you will receive alimony and how much you receive. This can even apply to temporary support order, because once again, you are sharing the expenses with someone else. The bottom line is that if you date during your divorce, you are giving your husband a big advantage. Wait until after the divorce is finalized before you start to date. When you are separated or going through a divorce, the attention that a boyfriend shows you can feel like a breath of fresh air and boost your self-esteem.

While he may serve as a distraction and help you avoid some of the pain of your divorce, you will eventually need to face those emotions. You will still have to deal with all the issues that caused the breakup of your marriage and make peace with the fact that it's really over. Imagine how differently you will act when you are not under extreme stress and when your life is more stable. You need time to discover that you can make it on your own without a man to support you emotionally or financially. When you are going through a divorce, you're usually not in a mental state to make permanent choices.

So what should you do if you believe that this new man is the one you should have married in the first place? If he truly is as special as you think, then he will be willing to wait.

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