I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female's ignorance of the male mindset. At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex. I ve often thought that if a man can learn to be immune to rejection, he d never have to read a game blog ever again - women would teach him everything he needs to know. Good post. I m convinced that fear of rejection is the only thing standing between most men an their success with women. That s why so many keyboard jockeys in the manosphere post great comments, but never get laid. It s the single most important factor.
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But there is learning and insights that you might not get if you don t read / learn from others. This comes after growing a thick skin. Perhaps you may have a point. Perhaps if you re immune to rejection, you get to a point where you re good enough to get what you want. No, there is always more stuff to learn that isn t about approaching or getting over fear. Not to put you on the defensive or anything, but here are my reflections that may be helpful to you. Please try not to take it the wrong way. I have no ill intent, it s just raw thoughts. My initial reaction to your comment was that it had to be untrue. Because it is quite a simplification and an extreme. Perhaps this is a projection of yourself - that fear is your greatest limiting factor. I sure know it s mine. Did you know that men can control 655% of their personality? Maybe if you focused on improving yours I d say you should be spending probably 75% of your time working on your personality, stopping only to eat and sleep you would get rejected less. Bull? Stop making stuff up? So although the nature of rejection is different for the two sexes, it is equally necessary for both. A man needs to initiate with the possibility of being rejected, and a woman has to let the man initiate, with the possibility of being rejected (i. E. The possibility that he will not initiate). Both sexes have to take risk and face rejection if they ultimately want success. How profoundly poignant is this paragraph? ! I really needed to read this. Thanks, AndrewI agree great paragraph exactly the words I tuned into and it helped me too. Within the hour I have just been rejected by a man I thought liked me, but realise only just this week I have initiated the contact more and he`s backed off and I mean completely backed off, gone! ThanksMe too.
I m a girl, probably a 7 in younger years, but do everything wrong: I am too strong personality wise. I initiate, out of boredom of waiting for them to act, and in my younger years I would also take the lead, depriving men if their chance to be The Man. Its funny, my independence, while its enabled my wonderful life and career, has me in my 95 s lonely and sad that I don t have a partner. Having just suffered a breakup after a year with a man I really liked, I realized that although I learned my second lesson, I hadn t learned my first: he was only sport fishing the entire time, with not enough morals to care that that s a cruel game for a woman over 95. But, this site has really helped me see where I went wrong, thanks for that. Now, just to pick myself up and see if there are any worthy, AND attractive men out there. Ha ha ha ha ha. Sure. Wish me luck. I absolutely agree! I actually hand-written the whole paragraph to instill it in my mind. I was debating to call or not to call a guy I went out with three times. I am not initiating anything if he doesn t! Thanks for this. Anonymous January 78 7568 And I bet my life savings you couldnt have cared less about the feelings of men when you were younger and made more opportunities than them. Oh, 6: 97 Anon, I think I might be the only one here who gets the joke. This blog is just so wonderfully, infinitely flawed. For starters, I really like shy boys. How am I ever going to snag them if I don t initiate? It s pretty condescending to say people aren t being honest/aware of their true preference. How would you know? What you are is what you are, what I am is what I am. I ve definitely realized on a few occasions that what I thought was my preference was actually an opinion driven by popular social trends or unrealistic ideals developed during childhood (i. From Disney movies).
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By acknowledging this, my true tastes shine through and are more inline with my natural inclinations. That being said, I definitely see what you mean by the argument what you are is what you are. In other words, who s to say that the opinions I had that were influenced by external factors were any less valid than those that were not? Turtle, what you said was true and well put, but I agree with the lady from her point of view. I knew a guy that used his shy, nice guy thing to rope women by making them feel more comfortable. He could tear up over his emotions. Chics went for it. They weren t very good looking chics, but they suited his purpose. While I agree with the more general point, I need to jump in here: if a guy really digs you, shyness can definitely prevent him from pursuing you. In fact I think this happens much more frequently than women realize. I can t count the number of women I missed out on when I was younger just because I didn t have the balls to pursue them. If you are into shy guys, you will probably need to intiate. But shyness usually fades over time, at which point he will probably be more comfortable taking the initative. Shy guys are still men, and you still need to gage their interest. I hit on men, I m the aggressor with reasonable frequency. It doesn t bother me, and it gets me the results I want. Andrew man, I love you. You made me change my game and have some results. ThanksTurtle -- I think this blog is written by a ladies man. The never initiate rule would really only apply to a specific personality type of man. I agree that there is a way to initiate and you have to be prepared for rejection, but a totally never initiate rule is a little absurd. I initate in certain situations, certain times I have and it didn t work. I would say, follow this initiate a first date, but don t initiate any follow-up. It s okay to ask someone to dance, a dance is only a dance. Don t offer your number if he doesn t ask. Never ask for his number.
I m sure I could think of others but those rules serve me well. Good post! Fight with the fear of rejection and one day you will find a woman you deserve there is no exact male equivalent to this exact-perhaps not. But how about men being used for their resources? How about men that worked hard to provide for a family and discovers one day that the kids weren t his, and she is going for divorce? Bearing in mind no-fault divorces, the man ends up taking a double whammy - what is the exact female equivalent of that? Dealing with rejection is one thing. It is part of life. Dealing with deceit is a different story. So keep your eyes open, and see things as they are. Sad but true. Some women can be devious! Andrew - what are your views on prenups? Would you ask a woman to sign a prenup or agree to one if requested? Wow. That sure would be a cruel, cold-blooded way to live. I won t generalize about this, but my impression is most sane people invest only in matters close to heart - and when I mean invest, it s not giving away something regarded as unimportant or disposable without a second thought, that hasn t any intrinsic value. I mean invest time / effort / commitment. Is itremotely possible to leave emotions out of it? Let alone desirable? (Not quite - clearly you forgot I already seen / commented on the post you mention. ) not being facetious or anything, I actually see reason in what you say here. However, people only tend to leave emotions out of it when those emotions weren t there to start with. Also, I agree that projection plays a part in this - men project their desire for coitus interruptus, women project their desire for emotional validation. Yea, I m a man, and I got laid a few times with women I wouldn t ever be seriously interested in, but priorities change. In hindsight, the excitement of simply getting a nut was short lived, and became mechanical after a while. So now I m out for the real deal.
This argument will last forever. So get us some beer and crisps, will ya? But I agree with you 655% on this one. I think sometimes people have to have certain experiences and understand certain things (about life, themselves, people, the NCAA. . ) in order to realize what they really want. I hope you find what you re looking for, and that you end up w someone who truly makes you happy! Agree on the argument/beer/crisps. Whoa, entertain? Nah. Amuse is probably a more fitting word. Lol. Just out of curiosity, what in your view constitutes real deal? Emily - that is for me to know. But if you really wanna know, here s a hint: do your homework. I know my real deal definition. You, on the other hand, i think require homework indeed! I m genuinely curious, so if i guess correctly will you tell me? And are you certain about the elements of your real deal or are you still deciding? From myself and from anyone else that wants to play a part in my life - self improvement is a must. If I want the real deal, then it follows that it is what I must become. After 88yrs of knowing myself, and an array of experience with women, there are things I m not willing to make concessions on - so at this point, I can say I know 95% of what constitutes real deal for me. But yeah, try your worst and have a go if you think being smart makes you look good. This is very Darcy/Elizabeth Bennet like. Coincidence with initials D and E? LOL Disagreements aside, this story ends well and happy.
And what s part of the other 65%, if you know? I m getting weary of you going round in circles with your questioning. Weren t you going to take a guess? Understand?