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Curious to hear what women thought about their online dating experiences, we asked them. And were floored by their responses. We heard it all, like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with. ” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them. ” Um, yeah. But, if you’re the kind of guy who reads Men’s Fitness, we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these. Still, navigating the world of can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy? What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile?

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When do you go in for the kill and ask for a date? The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after. ” — Andrea, 86The problem. And the solution:

If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town, ” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women. By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive. If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out. A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.

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The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men? ’” — Kristen, 77The problem. And the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.

Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory. Stick to neutral subjects — like mentioning a common ground you share based on something you read in her profile. INSECURE ONLINE DATER The scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but. ’” — Randi, 75The problem.

And the solution: We get it. A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site. But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat. By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person.

Just don’t bring it up.

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