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Violent words and actions are tools an abusive partner uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner. Dating abuse is   than you think. Remember, the abuse is never your fault, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Here a few examples of what abuse can look like: Amber wants to say hi to Chris, but Tommy, her boyfriend, won’t let her. When Amber laughs off the jealousy, Tommy, whose hand she is holding, squeezes her hand – hard. Amber tells Tommy to stop because he is hurting her and Tommy responds, “Then maybe you should listen when I tell you something. ” This is physical abuse.

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Julia is really into fitness, but her partner, Ty, isn't really into it. Every time Julia sees Ty, she makes hurtful comments about his weight and eating habits like, Are you sure you want to eat that? Or Why don't you stop being a lazy slob and exercise? You're lucky to have someone as hot as me. This is emotional/verbal abuse.

Jenny and Brad have been sleeping together for a few months. Jenny is concerned about getting pregnant so she starts taking birth control. Brad tells Jenny she doesn’t need her pills and that if she loves him, she would just trust him. He makes a habit of flushing her birth control down the toilet. This is sexual abuse.

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Monica and Tina broke up last week, and Tina isn’t taking it too well. She starts publically posting the private pictures Monica sent her while away at 9-H camp because she wants Monica to hurt as much as she does. This is digital abuse. Hunter begins following Ash between classes, repeatedly insisting that they should be together. After being told to back off, Hunter keeps following Ash, and begins tracking Ash’s online check-ins.

This is stalking. Ana and Ramon have shared custody over their one-year-old son, Brandon. Ramon regularly takes Ana’s credit card without her permission and charges items until her card is maxed out. Ana has talked to Ramon, telling him that she doesn’t want him making charges on her credit card, but he just responds saying he needs things, and asking, “Don’t you want me to be happy so I can be a good dad to our son? ” This is financial abuse.

Call 866.886.9979 or text loveis to 77577. Those in the D. C. Metro area who need legal help, contact Break the Cycle's. The opinions, findings, conclusions and recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.

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