Because chances are she’s not looking for solutions she just wants to be heard. So instead, just listen to what she has to say and validate how she feels. Simply supporting her will create a stronger emotional connection between you. This alone can automatically get her to start feeling better. You can then find out if she’s interested in your advice by asking “Would you like any advice on how to handle that situation? If not, all she’s really looking for is that connection. So just continue listening and empathizing with her situation. Some guys are hesitant to set boundaries as they’re worried it’ll chase the girl away.
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But the fact is women are more attracted to guys who set and enforce boundaries. After all no girl wants a guy she can walk all over. Women want a strong man who has standards. You may, for example, find that the girl you’re dating has a habit of teasing you in a way you don’t appreciate. Or perhaps you think she gets a little too friendly with other guys when you go out.
In either case, calmly let her know exactly what behaviors you won’t tolerate. If she continues pushing those boundaries you’ll have to find a way to enforce them. That may mean you need to take time (even if it’s just a night) away from her – so she can see you’re serious. The more confrontational your words and attitude are when trying to work through a problem, the harder it’s going to be reach a resolution. Instead of calling her names or blaming her for problems, simply let her know how certain behaviors make you feel.
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For example, let’s say you’re upset because she never bothered to introduce you to her friends when you were out the night before. Instead of saying “You’re so rude, you should have introduced me to your friends” try saying something like “It hurt that you didn’t introduce me, I felt like you didn’t want me there. Next time I’d really appreciate an introduction”. By phrasing it this way you’re not attacking, blaming, or trying to control her. You’re simply stating how you feel and what you’d like.
As a result she’ll be far more willing to do things your way. So make a point to continue getting satisfaction and fulfillment from other areas of your life. Make time for old friends and the activities you enjoy. Guys will often put a lot of energy and effort into getting a girl, but then back-off once they’ve got her. They’ll stop going on fun dates and pay less attention to her as time goes on.
Surprise your girl with little gifts, phone calls, or messages that show you how much you appreciate her. Keep taking her on fun dates and having new experiences together. And second, if you’re not fully committed to going after that next girl it’s going to take that much longer to find her. Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp.
Excited by the progress he s made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.