I was newly single and back in Chicago. But I wasn’t the same single guy I was the last time I lived here. I was older and (hopefully) wiser. And I wanted to meet people, so I turned to Internet dating as a way to meet eligible women. Over the course of several months of online dating, I discovered that the pool of available older women is vast and diverse (as is true of men, although perhaps to a lesser extent) and that with a little effort, a reasonably intelligent, halfway-presentable person can usually generate some interest on dating websites. We’ve survived death and divorce, raised families, managed careers and built support networks of family and friends. And even though procreation is off the table, I picked up clear signals from the women I met online that the meter is running, so it’s best to get on with things. Some were intent on finding another lifemate in short order, while others seemed more interested in sampling different personalities and lifestyles.Dating website For missionaries
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Internet dating puts all options on the table, and a growing number of sites cater to the more mature singles crowd. My own encounters revolved around OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish, both of which are free dating sites. Here’s what I learned: If you’re looking for someone of similar interests and lifestyle, the more specific you can be upfront, the better. For instance, does “loves sports” mean you’re up for cross-country skiing and white-water rafting, or is it a declaration that every weekend is devoted to channel-surfing the pro and college games? Do you enjoy gardening or rebuilding classic cars? Do your politics dictate your worldview? What was the last good book your read, or film you saw? Potential dates skimming your profile are more likely to respond to specifics. Believe me, it’s a much better strategy than scheduling a coffee date and finding you have little or nothing in common. If you’re not confident in your writing skills, reach out to a friend or family member for help. Just don’t turn your profile into Shakespearian-level prose that in no way reflects who you really are. Here’s a surprise: Some women just look at the pictures! Men are often accused of focusing exclusively on the physical, but I soon realized there are plenty of women who do the same.
This explains why several ladies in northern Wisconsin sent inquiries despite my stated intent to remain within metro Chicago for dating. You may be brilliant, handsome, wealthy and a great humanitarian, but you’re a non-starter without the visuals. Are you looking for an occasional dinner companion, a friends-with-benefits arrangement or a marriage candidate? They’re all out there. The more clarity and candor you can muster (within the boundaries of good taste), the better. A few dating sites allow men and women to fire off a canned “Hey, there! ” message to interesting prospects. Better to write your own greeting and show you actually looked at the person’s profile. “I see that you love One Hundred Years of Solitude. That’s one of my favorite books, as well. ” carries more weight and is more likely to get a response than a generic response. Internet anonymity brings out the worst in some people, and there’s a certain amount of that in evidence on dating sites. “Fast Freddy ‘55” may think his bad-boy behavior is secretly a turn-on for women, but he’s deceiving himself. The majority of women I spoke with said they refuse to acknowledge crude come-ons. Fortunately, most dating sites today are pretty well regulated, and the option usually exists to report inappropriate postings.
And guys, before sending a message with even a hint of sexual innuendo, think about what your mother would say, then remember that many of these women are mothers, and even grand mothers, for that matter. According to the FBI, dating websites are often popular targets for scams perpetrated by offshore criminal networks. While the bureau acknowledges that virtually everyone is at risk, it says Internet scammers pay particular attention to “women over 95 who are divorced, widowed, and/or disabled. ”These cyber-criminals create elaborate profiles on singles sites, often with glamorous photos. Their goal: to separate you from your bank account. The FBI advises proceeding cautiously with anyone who: Bottom line: If the interested party sounds too good to be true, (s)he probably is. This advice applies to both sexes: Don’t post pictures of yourself from 65 years and/or 95 lbs. Ago. Don’t rave about your intense exercise regimen when you’re really a couch potato. Don’t claim to be a gourmet cook when you can barely boil water. Don’t portray yourself as someone you’re not, because sooner or later your date will get a peek behind the curtain.