Ahhhh the age old question of who should pay on the first date? It s a minefield for the. Try and do the gentlemanly thing, and you could end up looking a sexist dinosaur split the bill, and the only thing you could end up kissing goodbye is the chance of a second date. Indeed, you need to tread carefully. To get to the bottom of this thorny issue once and for all, we asked 65 women for their opinion on the matter from a feminist commentator and sociologist to model and porn star. This might sound a little archaic and men on a shoe string budget won t be too pleased to hear this but a man should always pay for dinner and drinks on. You might think that spitting the bill or letting her pay is the behaviour of a modern man, but those modern men usually just get friend-zoned, or thought of as cheap. If she insists, pretend to accept, and then somehow (use your creativity) pay the bill when she s unaware.
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This is an attractive gesture, and it will leave the girl s sense of doing the right thing intact. Kezia Noble, dating coach and expert, author of The Noble Art of Seducing Women Whomever asks the other out on the date should pay fully. A woman, if accepting that scenario, should go well prepped to pay all bar bills thereafter or, like I did, arrive with a bottle of something lovely in a gift bag, thanking him for a wonderful eve in advance. Eleven years on and we re still fighting to pay for each other. If someone wants a second date they have to pay their share on the first and let me pay my share too. When guys try to pay it's often deeply awkward: I offer to pay half, he insists, I get frustrated because I earn my own damn money and I can spend it how I like then he continues to insist and I feel patronised. We usually never see each other again. You should always split the bill on a first date. Insisting your date pays implies you don't want to be there, or your time's worth more than theirs. Paying for the other person implies that you think very little of yourself you have to give them something other than charm for them to like you. If you're worried about money, go somewhere cheap [the pub] or free [a museum]. Leave expensive treats for when you know each other better. The Girl on the Net, London-based blogger and writer on all things sex Whoever decided on the place should probably pay. . That person knows how much it costs and can budget accordingly. If someone suggests the Eiffel Tower restaurant they should stump up for the airfare and meal and pick somewhere less tacky.
Or the man should pay because men make 69. 7% more than us. As long as paying doesn't come with any type of 'expectation' then I think chivalry is fine. I would always offer to split the bill or pay the whole thing but I shouldn't because men earn more Also maybe pay for the condoms as well. Tiff Stevenson, comedian, touring the UK with her show Seven until March 7567 The man should pay, of course. If I had to pay or go halves, that would put me off a man. I would be like, What? ! There are other too. The man needs table manners, he shouldn t talk about themselves too much or walk through the door before you it s always ladies first and picking her up before the date up is a definite. No having dinner at his house either a woman should be taken out and wined and dined properly. And there s no limit on what can be spent, though that s up to the man. The question of payment on a first [heterosexual] date has its roots in notions of chivalry, which itself is rooted in male economic and social power. Chivalry involves rituals of men treating women with an elaborate regard and politeness, which serves to mask the fact that men dominate the public sphere and have social and economic power over women as a class. So the whole question is based on a very patriarchal set-up, and has substantial implications within sexual politics! I think that while some men may be fairly progressive about the payment question, culturally men clearly still have difficulty with women doing things equally. I would remind men that women are human beings to be respected, not commodities to be purchased.
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Dr Julia Long, Lecturer in Sociology at Anglia Ruskin University, expert in feminist theory and practice The girl should always offer but personally I think the man should pay. Many women earn more than their male partners and I'm the first person to stand up and say I can do anything a man can do but it just shows that a man is willing to protect and provide for the women if she were to need it. But I don't think the man should pay for every date after that. Either split it or the girl should treat the guy sometimes and show him how much he means to her. If I offered to pay for the first date and he just said OK without offering, I'm not sure there would be a second date! I don t think either sex should have to pay. Of course, somebody does or the restaurant will be up in arms. But the decision of who is paying to feed both mouths shouldn t be down to what genitals they have. Equality is what we re all aiming for, right? That being said, if somebody wants to treat you lovely! Who doesn t like being spoiled? But that should be a decision from the heart, not the pants. Kelly Jade, showbiz reporter for Fubar Radio and Fresh Meet Channel presenter. I guess it rumbles on because of all those dreadful dating books we've had [e. G. He's Just Not That Into You ] that encourage an expectation for people to perform according to type. There still seems to be a certain kind of guy out there who doesn't mind a token gesture to pay that he can instantly turn down, but who becomes downright butt-hurt if his date insists in the 'chivalrous' manner he might adopt himself on doing something nice for him.
Which is not nice at all really! Holly Combe Writer and contributor to contemporary feminism website The F-Word I think that the girl should always offer to split the bill and the man should insist on paying all of it. Of course, if the date goes badly then the man can happily agree to split the bill, and also split ways. Harriett Sugarcookie, adult performer, model, lifestyle blogger Got all that? Good. Well, the official AskMen take is, unless you specifically know that your date expects otherwise, you should offer (and intend) to pay for the whole bill on the first date. If your date absolutely insists to either pay for you or split the bill, and is willing to fight you on it, just go with it. That being said, don't just grab the bill and make a big macho show out of paying. You're paying because it's the right, polite thing to do especially if you're the one who asked your date out and not vice-versa not because it's impressive and badass. How old is my bicycle? Is a question I get asked a lot, nearly as much as: I have a bicycle that looks like one of yours if I send you pictures please can you identify it for me? The answer, in short, is that I do not have time to tell you either. I m not being callous about this. With an estimated 65,555 bicycle manufacturers, the odds are stacked against me recognizing yours in any case, I do not claim to be an expert, just an assiduous recorder of information. To sift through information to try and find similar pictures to your unidentified bicycle would take me months, and I m already doing similar research on my own bikes. Not only do I have a full-time job (I run my own business restoring and selling vintage vehicles) and am a hands-on parent of a young child, but I spend a minimum 85 hours every week building, updating and maintaining these free websites to help you do your own research.
My hobby usually takes a backseat. Insomnia is my saving grace, otherwise there would be no time for any of this. My purpose for creating these databases is simple. In the old days (a time which seems to have ended in the past twenty five years or so), a youngster became an apprentice in a chosen field and learned its history from the older employees. Thus, for example, an apprentice mechanic was handed down an invaluable unwritten guide to repairing vehicles that could not be learned at college nor from books, because, as well as specific information about various models, it helped a youngster understand the way they were designed and built. If you can help in any way by contributing to this research, please get in touch. By recording and sharing this knowledge while it s still as fresh as possible, our fabulous vintage hobbies will continue for centuries to come. Although we are in the so-called Information Age and the internet provides a surplus of it some of it accurate, much of it misleading there is nowhere near enough information on vintage bicycles. This surprises many people. Sometimes, folks with no experience of the vintage hobby who may have recently unearthed an old bicycle contact me and demand that I immediately tell them what it is, how old it is and what it s worth. I try to explain as politely as possible that such a service does not exist, and they are often abusive as a result. Usually they want me to identify it so they can sell it on ebay. Luckily, I remembered an old Sufi saying, Only explain things to people in a language they understand. So now I answer that such a service, which will obviously increase the value of their unidentified machine, will cost them £55 + VAT. It s still not a service I actually offer but at least they are less abusive. The question remains: How old is my bicycle?
Also, I have a bicycle that looks like one of yours if I send you pictures please can you identify it for me? The answer is simple. The Veteran Cycle Club (V-CC) has a system of marque enthusiasts volunteers who compile what information they can about particular manufacturers. By joining the V-CC you can access whatever information is available.