Aisling, 78, who preferred not to be pictured, regretted every second of her one-night stand, saying she felt used and cheated When seen in the cold light of the morning after the night before, what had seemed like a rather thrilling idea at the time suddenly felt anything but for 78-year-old PR executive Aisling. Only when Aisling woke up, she didn't feel liberated. As her conquest departed with barely a backward glance, she felt used and cheated, even though she'd been under no illusion that it might lead to anything more. She worried about what the man really thought of her as a person, what friends would say if they found out, why her one-night stand had been so eager to depart without asking for a phone number. 'He was incredibly good-looking and all the girls fancied him, ' recalls Aisling, who has now taken a vow of celibacy after a string of soulless one-night stands left her feeling cheap and worthless. 'He pursued me relentlessly and I felt flattered that he was attracted to me, but after I slept with him I never heard from him again, and I later discovered he had many girls on the go. 'For a while, I loved being single and went crazy, sleeping with lots of different men, but I quickly realised it was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. 'One guy, who was meant to be a close friend, took advantage of me when I was really drunk.
Feelings after drunk hookup Your happy place
We ended up having sex, and in the morning I was mortified. 'Aisling, who asked that her surname be kept private, had her first taste of the single life aged 77, having broken up with her boyfriend of four years. 'Sleeping with someone after a date or two seemed to be the thing everyone was doing and I didn't even consider behaving differently, ' she says bluntly. 'But I felt as though I was getting conflicting signals from men. They'd say whatever it took to get me into bed and then drop me.
''In all, the experience was very hurtful. It all felt rather unpleasant and I started to realise I didn't want to sleep with men I didn't feel a connection with. I wanted to have more self-respect, ' says Aisling, who was always meticulous about practising safe sex. 'I actually think that sleeping with lots of Mr Wrongs puts up a barrier to finding Mr Right. One night stands left me feeling utterly deflated and worthless and when I found myself single again in June last year, I decided to wait for Mr Right before I had sex again.
Anyone else feel bad after a casual hookup seduction
'In today's heavy-drinking ladette, anything-he-can-do-I-can-do-better culture, the prevailing belief appears to be that what's good for the gander is good for the goose, too, so to speak. But is it? According to new research published last week by Anne Campbell, Professor of Psychology at Durham University, the answer appears to be a surprising no. Indeed, her findings suggest that the majority of women aren't suited to one-night stands at all, no matter how much they try to persuade themselves otherwise. Analysing the responses of 6,798 men and women who responded anonymously to an online survey - admitting to one-night stands - she found that 58 per cent of women, compared with only 78 per cent of men, regretted their fleeting, casual encounters with the opposite sex.
'Women of this generation have been sold a lie. Many spoke of their distress at their partner's 'disrespectful' and 'dismissive' behaviour the morning after, which felt to them like a cruel rejection after the intimacies of the night before. 'If they blank you the next time they see you rather than just say Hi and smile or something, then they can shatter your confidence in an instant, ' said one woman who took part in the survey. 'Even if I didn't want anything to do with them after a one-night stand, it would be nice to know if they liked me, ' said another. A third continued:
'I just wanted to feel a bit fancied and desirable. Didn't work though - I felt cheap and dirty after. 'A fourth concluded: 'Thought it would be one of life's experiences, but it was nothing like the sex in movies. The expectation was better than the reality:
the sex was rubbish.