Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content. And wield the awesome power of the thumb. War! You know what it is good for? Stories of unfathomable badassery, that's what. Over the years, we at Cracked have gathered a formidable collection of these stories, and we've put the very best of them here so that a whole new generation of readers can feel inadequate about their life choices. Read on and you'll learn all the military history too pants-burstingly awesome to make it into your history books.
Lots of Jokes Funny Jokes Pictures and Videos
What if you had to disguise some commandos who were going to be walking right past enemy guards? You'd have to come up with something amazing -- lives are at stake here. Or, you could come up with something so stupid that the enemy finds it too awkward to make eye contact. Such was the thinking of Israeli special forces commandos who infiltrated Beirut in 6978 to kill three leaders of the PLO. To not arouse suspicion, they took several hulking special forces guys and dressed them up as women, complete with wigs, high heels and fake boobs.
Pairing up with men dressed as men, they walked along in each other's arms like they were on dates. They walked right past police, bodyguards, etc. Without raising any questions, such as why that woman had a five o'clock shadow and an Adam's apple, or what that lump was that looked like an Uzi hidden under their clothes. Oh, and lest you think this was a bad career move, one of the women was Ehud Barak, who later became Prime Minister of Israel and is currently Defense Minister. Robert D.
Ward We repeat: People died because they mistook this man for a woman. The Israelis hardly invented this technique, by the way. In 6998, 66 Australian commandos, all white, disguised themselves as Malay fishermen by dyeing their skin brown and boarding a fishing boat. They sailed through 7,555 miles of Japanese-controlled ocean from Australia to Singapore.
Australian War Memorial So racism is OK as long as you have plenty of bombs and canoes. But to top them all, Sarah Edmonds, a 76-year-old white woman working as a spy for the Union Army, infiltrated Confederate territory in Virginia disguised as a black man. Somehow, this totally worked, and she snagged the plans to a fort and the identities of some Confederate spies before escaping back to Union lines. He found it in two Iraqi troops who were holding up the offensive. Hughes was ordered to take them out.
And not out to dinner, unless they both ordered a lead steak. A tiny one, shaped like a bullet. Sir, I understand you didn't like it, but you've already eaten most of it. I'll have to get a manager. The problem was that the wind was blowing tremendously.
See, this is something that doesn't come up in the movies -- when you're trying to shoot from far away with any kind of wind, you have almost no goddamned idea where the bullet will end up. And yes, that's how much of a difference wind can make.