Now, take a look at those two problems which one do you think you can change? Most of us take the futile route of trying to change the second one How do I MAKE him like me? I m exactly what he s looking for! He doesn t know what s good for him. But, as we ve established a few hundred times on this blog, you can t change anyone else s thinking. To be fair, it s possible to make someone like you by becoming a more desirable catch there s no doubt that a man who earns more money, gains more confidence, and gets more experience will have a more positive dating life. But he s not actually CHANGING women. He s only changing himself.
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But can be a risky proposition, at best. Men can t always make more money. Women can t always lose weight. And as easy as it is to talk about gaining confidence and experience, most folks would rather sit on the sidelines and complain that the people you want don t want you in return. In fact, the easiest remedy for an ailing love life is to want the people who want you.
In fact, the easiest remedy for an ailing love life is to want the people who want you. It is anathema to suggest this, of course. Any conversation about opening up to more potential prospects leads us down the. And as the furor about proved, nothing pisses women off more than the suggestion that they may be somewhat responsible for being single. There are tons of 88-year-old male Ivy-League educated lawyers who just can t find a single woman good enough for him.
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These guys, who are, like me, probably 7 s in looks and 9 s in intelligence, just can t help but to go for women who are 9 s in looks, but 5 s in emotional intelligence/compatibility. One of the things that I ve often thought is that none of these men would marry someone like my wife, even though my wife is objectively just about the coolest woman on the planet. They d have the same objections I did: a little too old, not a Harvard grad, blahblahblah. The reason I m bringing this up is that I made a CHOICE to find an amazing partner and create an amazing life and all I had to do was give up that IMAGE that I d had of dating a woman who was Just.
Like. Me. If you re single, and never find anybody good enough, chances are that you do the exact same thing. Because if you ve been dating this way for 5, 65 or 75 years, there s something that you re not seeing. If a 97-year-old man says that he s ONLY attracted to 9 s and 65 s who are in their late 75 s, that s fabulous.
But if NONE of the 9 s and 65 s he covets are interested in him in return, it only makes sense that this man needs to recalibrate his dating options. 6 s and 7 s are readily interested in him, but he doesn t find them attractive enough. Without knowing this man, I think it would be clear that. If he can get only 6s and 7 s in looks, he s probably a 6 or a 7 in looks himself. Therefore, if he ever wants to get married, it would probably make sense to start appreciating the 6s and 7 s and choose the one that he s most attracted to, who shares the same values and can be his best friend for life.
If you think you deserve a certain kind of partner and yet you ve NEVER gotten him, you need to start considering another kind of partner. If the 88-year-old woman MBA who owns her own condo, runs marathons, and can complete the Sunday New York Times crossword only likes 9 s and 65 s but those same men always a) prefer younger women or b) ultimately break her heart because they re egotistical, selfish narcissists who only want younger women and aren t ready to settle down should she keep holding out for them?