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Ok, I m not an expert on dating advice, and I don t really have the holy grail on getting laid on. But I ve been on there for some time, so I thought I ll give you guys a glimpse at the other side and maybe you ll understand why you never heard back from that hot chick you winked 78 times. In case you can t quite tell that s 899 messages, 696 winks. Yeah, I was shocked, too. As you can see, messages trickle in almost every other minute (times are local to the sender ). Because one inbox page only shows ten messages, I d have to go through 85 pages just to see them all. I m not gonna do that. What to do?

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Do you really expect me to accept a collect mail when I have my inbox bursting at the seams with other guys? You d have to be Brad Pitt for me to pay for collect. And I doubt he d be so cheap to make me. Lefty really got nothing right. Douchebag. Look, I m not a gold digger and if we meet, I won t expect you to pay for my coffee. In fact, if I like you, I may even pay for yours. And that s the key if I like you. I won t pay for your message when I have no clue who you are. And even if your profile shows a Mr. Perfect, I d wonder how Mr. Perfect can be so cheap. In short: Don t do it. Your user name, that is. There really are only three things to see when I scan over those messages: picture, name and the subject line. You see how important that moniker becomes? Choose one that makes me want to click to your profile something about you or something funny. TallTexan is pretty good, but what the hell is twiz86? No idea next! It s a fine line though between funny and trying too hard. Oh, and btw, anything alluding to the size of your custard launcher is about as appealing as Bob the Flasher flaunting his junk at the street corner.

56 messages, much better. I may actually have a quick glance over all six pages. But I ll only open a few. Which ones? Have a look at that list again. You go: What always catches my attention is an opening line that shows you actually read my profile and refers to something in there. Something witty works great too, if you have a gift with words. What I really don t like are subjects with a sugar daddy proposal. It s pretty clear from my profile that I don t need or want anybody to pay for me and to imply that I could be a glorified hooker is just annoying to put it mildly. I m sure there are some sugar babes on Ashley Madison, who might be looking for such an arrangement. But at least make sure you re propositioning the right person. Or, even better, go to. Gotta have a picture. Women are visual, too! And there are all sorts of things you can do without revealing who you are. You see, the other main reason why I chose to respond to Mr. Warm Smile, was his picture a well-dressed man in front of a foreign landmark I found that intriguing enough to click. That s another hint, right there. Groomed and well-dressed works much better than your naked torso in the bathroom mirror. Even though Ashley Madison is a hook-up website, you wouldn t walk into your local meat market naked either, would you? A woman still wants to be wooed and that starts with decent clothes. If you really don t want to put up any public picture, at the very least have some in your private showcase and attach a key directly to your message.

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You absolutely need a good profile. In fact, oftentimes, esp. If all I see there are those check mark preferences, I ll usually move right along to the next guy. So what to write? Avoid boring worn-out phrases like I like to laugh. Ever met anyone who doesn t like to laugh? I know you re very proud of it, but that will come later. Write a story, something funny, show that you re not taking yourself too seriously. Show, don t tell. Instead of saying you re humorous, tell me an episode that shows you are. Make me wanna keep reading, make me curious about the person behind this. But by all means, don t use this as a place to vent about your other half. No matter how frustrated you are, I want to meet an upbeat man, not a whiner who drags me down. Instead look for women online now and write them right away. If you have set your eyes on a particular lady, add her to your favorites and activate Favorite Member Login in your account contact options. If you need some time to compose your masterpiece of an introduction, then do it beforehand and save it on your computer. When she comes on, paste and send. If you are single and wish to meet an attached person, you re probably going to have to try a little harder. Single people don t have as much to risk and you may find some attached people unwilling to take a risk with you. Take your time to build an additional level of trust with attached people you wish to meet. This should get you the foot in the door, i. E. At this point you already cut out all the riffraff 95% of your competition.

Where will it go from here? Will you ignite my fantasy? Will you get me to reply and more than once? I can t write like a man, but let me tell you about Mark, one of the guys I met through Ashley Madison. When I met up with him, I complimented Mark and he smiled and admitted that he d had some training. , which shows how to set up a hot profile, choose a tempting picture and write engaging messages that just need to be replied to. What can I say, it worked for him, maybe you should check it out too! [. . ] anything missing? Winks? Pokes? Nudges? Nada. Not that I miss that feature much, but some do. Too bad. Married Date Link doesn t have [. ][. If you want to catch a member who receives a lot of mail, write when she is online so that your [. ]Very nice, my dear lady. Way to go. Or, good lookin out as my kids would say. Great blog and advice.

I m reluctant to do it until I know that the women is real. Do people do it to get away from AM or better to stay within AM? As your advice directs, so did she. She told me what attracted her to respond and messages that got her attention and made her respond. I believe age has a lot to do with guys getting responses. My wife is 55 and gets hit on by 85-65 year olds. I am 65 and feel and look younger but I don t think that helps. Although I don t want to call them cougars, most of them are looking for younger. I didn t want to lie about my age, and I have even searched for women my age and slightly older but NO RESPONSES. I am thinking of changing my name from DISTINGUISHED to DISAPPOINTED. From a man s perspective, this is good information but I do have one complaint. As you clearly know, there are many more men than women, if I were to send a message to every profile near me I would run out of credits in the first day. This is a very expensive site. If you can ignore your winks because you have many messages, good for you, but don t dismiss them as useless and bad strategy. For non rich men winks are the way to go, and a replied wink is green light for message. You re a woman. Sorry. It makes more sense. Men don t get that many responses. Not even close. Can you tell me anything else to help me speed up the getting laid process? To be clear, we are talking about what married men can do to hook up with the author? Haha, the suggestions I offered are not strictly to hook up with *me*, but they will make guys more successful with women on dating sites in general.

A lot of it should be common sense, if you think about it. Whether anyone will get to meet me, depends on a lot of other things as well. I m picky!

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