Handsome, charming, smart, kind and giving? Sounds like the perfect guy right? When you meet a man who seems like the man you ve been waiting for your whole life, instead of embracing the moment we sometimes get scared and nervous. Although this is the man of your dreams you wonder if you are the woman of his? It isn’t always easy to keep your cool but here are a few guidelines for getting Mr. Right and more importantly keeping him interested in dating you. The reason being, true love is instinctual. If you believe that you will meet the right man then you don t need to approach the wrong ones.
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Recognize if you re approaching men out of the need to control your circumstance or out of impatience or insecurity. Are you willing to let what is meant for you, come to you? Utilize your attraction skills, body language and eye contact to make approaching you easy and comfortable. Men appreciate women who are open and easy going. I suggest flirting with heavy eye contact, getting close to, maybe even bumping him or walking past him and letting him speak to you. You can make it as easy as need be without seeming obvious. Some people might say, well, what does it matter who talks to who? If a man wants to talk to you, trust that he will. Give yourself at least that much credit. Your only job is to welcome the interaction by being inviting and light-hearted. This is advice taken from the infamous self-help book The Rules and I believe that it works. Some people might call this a game but dating is a game. If you don t play by the rules then you risk losing a man to a woman who does. If a man contacts you and invites you on a date, in his mind he is courting you. There is no need to feel bad or think that you aren’t doing enough to show that you like him. Give him the space he needs to be the man he wants to be. If that man isn t aggressive enough then tell him so or stop dating. Wait for him to call you [not by the phone of course] and end phone calls first. I know it sounds strict and old-fashioned but again, human emotion is powerful. When you compliment someone, you re going out of your way to make them feel good. You show that you are confident because you aren’t waiting for them to boost your ego with kind words. When you can praise a man’s good qualities he is appreciative. Men want to be appreciated just as women do. Make it appoint to recognize the man you re dating for the little things that he does. Be genuine and thoughtful. Tell him that he s smart, kind, caring, a great date and wonderful to be around.
When you think a kind thought share it. A man will appreciate your confidence. Instead of waiting for him to make you feel special, make him feel confident with a great compliment. Keep in mind that men are as nervous when dating as women are. Because women assume men have it all together we give up our power and leave the entire interaction in a man s hands. Taking control of the situation saves you both time. If you ask a man straight out, “Will I see you again? ” And you don’t, its clear he lied. He’s scum. Move on. If a man doesn t want to see you again but lacks the nerve to tell you then these questions are a great way to bring his intentions to light. Don t be afraid to ask bold questions because you fear being rejected. You want to know as soon as possible if this man is serious in pursuing you, so ask. Women can talk a lot. I know that I do. I find that we say so much yet very little about how we truly feel. There comes a time when we all grapple with those tough topics. Should you ask where is this going? Should you tell him to stop seeing other people? Can you say you might be falling in love? Probably not. If you feel happy with him, tell him. If you feel safe around him, let him know. Don t be afraid to express the good feelings. Too often women wait until they re hurt to share their feelings. When you feel something share it.
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Be concise and honest. It can be honest without being overkill. How do you know when you’re saying too much? Or enough? When he is clear on what you mean. Communication is key and you want to articulate what you feel without any confusion or misinterpretation. You can’t rush or race to get to know someone. That phase of getting to know someone for who they are is a long one. Embrace it because you will never get those moments back. Trust me. Try to limit your weekly time together. Don’t freak out if you don’t have a routine. Give each other space and when you can be together enjoy it. Sometimes women fear that their man is seeing other women, but you can see other men. It doesn’t mean that you don’t really care about your potentially perfect guy it just means that you’re keeping your options open. Don’t fight. I know it seems crazy because dating is all about fighting right? Forgive your man, and allow yourself to enjoy as many good times as possible. This is why you should embrace the positive, happy and joyous times. Before you get up in arms about all of the things that he isn’t doing, hasn t done and probably will never do, list all of the great and kind things that this man is doing for you now. Appreciate him. If he’s showing unfavorable behaviors, he might not be the one for you. It’s okay to move on. Don t try to make the moments uncomfortable out of anger or resentment. If he isn t the man you want him to be then it s better to know sooner than later. If you aren t happy with his behavior don t see him.
Make sure all of your times together are happy ones. There are many experts who recommend that a woman ingratiate herself with her new boyfriends friends, but it works both ways in my opinion. Hopefully your friends will paint you in a great light and impress this man the way he would want his friends to impress you. While men do sometimes see this as a clear sign of wanting commitment its better to have a great time together than worry about what he will think of your intentions. They aren’t always easy. The most important rule is to be patient, when the right person comes along you may not need any advice at all but if you do I hope this was helpful. This is really helpful. But what if the guy is very busy at work? Like he texted me good morning and good night only. If I reply, he doesnt reply anymore cause he s so busy. And he calls me once or twice a week only. But he told me that he really likes me. But I m not sure anymore if he s really into me. Thank you for reading. Keep in mind that men like attention just as women do. A man is satisfied knowing that you re thinking about him and that you would be at his beckon call if he made more effort. A man gives you as much attention as he feels you deserve. If you want more then stop entertaining the crumbs. Thank you for your comment. I m sure the advice isn t on target with everyone but it s always best to take what applies and ignore what doesn t. Good answer miss Solomon, that previous commenter seemed to only want to critisize and show their evolved in their own eyes status. Thank you so much. I try to take all comments seriously but some people do seem to disagree completely with my advice and that s ok. Your write up is great and idealistic. But I ve tried all i can to get myself on track with this guy we ve know ourselves for eight months he says he cares about me alot and i should be patient. .
But he doesn t chat me up till i do Then he gets back to me He tells me his secrets alot. And his plans for the future. I decided not to talk to him for a while and see if he d call me he doesn t Its been a month since i last spoke to him and his cool with that? I think all the game playing is just plain silly. Mystery is only there when there is already an existing substantive connection with a guy. If a girl is to act unresponsive, chances are a guy will lose interest because it s unappreciative and boring. Expending more effort is tiring and to make a guy overexert energy, he will feel drained. He won t feel intrigued or interested (mystery). I would suggest girls to be cautious about taking advice from online dating guides especially those written by another women. I m sharing guy s perspective from a guy myself. I studied social psychology before. I appreciate your perspective and it s true we should all be cautious when taking advice online because different strokes for different folks. I think what is more dangerous however than trying to be mysterious or evasive is being too available. While this is just one article of many, the idea isn t to play games. The idea is to set boundaries for yourself and stop yourself from the natural inclination to be too available for a guy. I love this! I honestly can see where people are coming from saying the games are silly because I thought so as well! But because I m following my own rules of no games and contacting him when I think of him, he is starting to lose interest! This has helped a lot. I haven t completely lost him, his texting has changed I don t get the good morning or good nights anymore but just random chit chat but when we see each other in person he acts normal and the same old guy super interested in me. So I am going to go a while without texting him and when he is ready to see me again, he will reach out! Thanks girl! Girl I m in the same situation and I found out he was talking to someone else sexually and everything I forgave him but now I am going to take baby steps and do what I just learned here have fun enjoy it have happy moments if I see that there s no effort being put in I m moving on Thank you so much for your comment. You are very kind for letting him stay with you but you have to set boundaries otherwise people won t know when they are doing something you think they shouldn t be doing. A man who has ambition doesn t want to be anyone s boyfriend until his life is together. That has been my experience.