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If you’ve read then you’ve heard about the tragedy that is Jennifer Laude, a trans woman who was murdered after a man she hooked up with learned she was trans. I’m not going to justify murder. I’m also not going to allow someone to justify sexual assault. Informed consent means the person being asked for their consent knows exactly what they are consenting to. Even if the trans person isn’t the initiator, they have an obligation to disclose information that could negate the initiator's consent. The author, a transgender woman, used a terrible tragedy and terrible people, to make a terrible point: trans people can sexually assault other people because it’s transphobic to not want to sleep with trans people and they don’t have to accommodate your “transphobia” by telling you they’re trans knowing damn well you may not be into sleeping with trans people. See, I don’t care what you want to do with your genitals as a trans person.

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If you want to invert your penis and cut off your testicles, by all means, go for it. Call me selfish, but since it doesn’t affect me, I don’t care. Well, now it does affect me. Denying someone the ability to give informed consent is nothing short of sexual assault. To add insult to injury, we’re all transphobic just if we don’t want to have sex with a trans person? Everyone is entitled to informed consent. Everyone is entitled to sovereignty over their own bodies. So why is it OK to deny cis people that very same right that allowed you to do what you chose to your body? Evil, privileged, cis people deserve to be treated with human decency, too. The author’s bold claim that, “demanding trans people come out to potential partners is transphobic, ” is absolutely absurd. Trying to explain why that’s wrong is trying to explain why water is wet. Yes, there’s a reason why water is wet, but it’s so basic that it’s somewhat difficult to explain. You should always tell someone if you’re trans or what your sexuality is. . Knowingly violating someone else’s sexuality for your pleasure is wrong. If you know you possess some quality that might be a deal breaker for a large swath of people, you should 667% tell them before you do anything that might really hurt them.

It’s worth noting that many trans people have spoken up and said disclosure is a must. I believe the author of No, I Don't Have To Tell You I'm Trans Before Dating You owes a lot of people an apology. She owes the trans community an apology for encouraging deceptive behavior. This article did nothing to promote the acceptance of transsexuality, it only further marginalized trans people by validating fears. Not all trans people want to be shady, selfish, deceptive creeps, you know? She also owes all the cis people who don't feel comfortable dating a trans person an apology for incorrectly labeling the vast majority of us as transphobic. You can't force love or acceptance through deception. First of all, I would like to thank all of you conservative conspiracy theorists for acknowledging that we ~trans~ are magical enough to use mind-control powers on the cis, because we are. I can tell that y'all are very curious as to what our exact agenda is, as the headlines featured above seem to be conflicting well you're in luck, because right in this here listicle, I am about to reveal to you. Mwahaha, yes! Oh, cis folk, you think you know who you like? WRONG! I am a trans guy who likes guys, but I don't even PASS as cis, and I often get hit on by straight girls who are just so taken by my handsomeness, that they start to get confused! ! Every single trans person I know is HOT! The first step on the agenda is working!

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Binary folx and nonbinary folx alike, we love smashing gender roles and the binary. I am a trans guy who loves makeup! I am such a pretty boy! There is more than just penis and vagina. Holding space is providing the means for someone to say what they need to say and feel what the need to feel. It is like preparing a metaphorical microphone for the person to speak into giving the person the opportunity to have feelings in a way that is most effective for them. We trans folx are really good at that as a community, we are always trying to uplift each other and make efforts to uplift voices that are even more marginalized than our own. There is a huge trans presence in the poetry community along many other artistic communities. We have a lot of feelings and like to make art out of them so that other people will hear us. So long as both parties consent and are into it, we love to love and snuggle each other! I have never met a more cuddly community than the trans community! Because we're too cute not to, and we know it. (Oh hey, look, it's me again! )Sometimes people ask their trans peers some really easily google-able questions, and it takes a lot of emotional labor for us to answer them. We, as trans, try to encourage that people do their own research before coming to us with questions that people bug us with all the time. If, for some reason, you just need more information from a real-live-trans-person, ask them if they have the spoons or the space to answer a trans question before asking them the question.

IT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO EDUCATE YOU! WE OWE YOU NOTHING! WE'VE JUST GOTTA PEE, Y'ALL! LIKE STOP TELLING US WHERE WE CAN AND CANNOT PEE! WE WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO PEE IN PEACE, K? We are here. We are real. Everyone should believe in us, and we will not stop until that happens. We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you. Here I sit, three months from the first time I an article about the struggles of coming out as transgender and what being transgender is. Since that piece was published, I have had 65 self-injected shots of testosterone into my system. My voice has changed entirely, my body has begun to catch up. I track the weekly and monthly changes with comparison pictures and videos, I try my best to use my voice and be proud as I can be of my gender. Yes, that video app generally used to put together pictures and videos of you and your friends just to put them on Instagram. Apparently, they have their own community and it’s been interesting to watch the views rise and the comments flood in, but with all comments presents the downfall of encountering closed minded individuals.

I am thankful for the vast majority of people who are so amazingly supportive of me and my transition, but now with this community, I have been exposed to my first real set of challenges with opposing viewpoints and common misconceptions. As hard as that was at first, there are some things that my recent pseudo-popularity has taught me: That being said, my experiences as a transman are limited and scattered. I have only been transitioning for a short period of time and though I am educated and speak to a lot of my trans friends on a regular basis, I have done my best to make sure that when I share my story I reiterate that I am just one guy and my experiences/personal trials and tribulations as a man who is transgender do not by any means represent or mirror those of any other transgender male. I am only living life through my own personal lens and therefore cannot speak for anyone other than myself, but it is strange to have that responsibility given to me by a select group of curious and excited individuals. From my personal experiences -- though I am proud of being transgender -- sometimes it is just nice to pass*. The further I progress in my transition and the more my voice changes, the less I am misgendered. Nevertheless, I constantly struggle with passing in my daily life because it forces me to grapple with difficult concepts does the desire to pass take away from the pride I have as a transgender individual or does it make it seem like I am ashamed of being transgender? The fact remains that regardless of if I pass or not I am still a man and I am proud that I am able to live my life authentically and genuinely. Passing and the desire to pass are not wrong, and they shouldn't make you ashamed of who you are. While I do not hide the fact that I am transgender, I don’t think it is necessary to disclose that information every time someone refers to me and perceives me as my proper pronouns. This goes to say that there is nothing wrong with not passing or not wanting to pass while still having pride in being transgender, and it also doesn’t make someone any less their preferred/authentic gender. When it comes to how trans men are expressing themselves, it is frustrating to consistently have to defend yourself and affirm your gender with individuals who do their best to take their version of what being a man is, and try to pick apart the man that you are. I do not believe that people do this inherently, but I believe that society has taught us that the rules of stature and expression of one gender or another are so rigid that in turn, anyone who is transgender must fit that stereotypical version of being male/female or else their gender is not valid, or they are just confused. People cannot continue to place men and women in uniform boxes, but especially need to stop expecting transgender men/women to fit into those boxes as well. We cannot constantly ask people to affirm their gender just because their expression is different from our own -- not only for transgender people but for cisgender people as well.

I am glad to continue sharing my experiences and journey with others who dare to ask or take interest in it. I am proud to be someone others look to when trying to educate themselves or gain a perspective they hadn’t previously known or understood and will continue to do my best to shed light on the issues that come with this complicated and complex process of transition.

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