During the initial stages of dating, what are your deal makers and deal breakers? ( )Basically, if I would hire her at my office, I would consider her datable material. Given the amount of interviews I given, and the amount of times I wanted to bash the interviewee s head in, this is surprisingly hard to find. A phone checker without feeling any need to apologize or explain why you can tuck it away for a date-it s irrational but always laughs too hard at my jokes (isn t that terrible? )Always thought that was the best way to go about making plans with anyone, instead of asking them. Just tell them your free time and see if it fits with there s, instead of being vagueI don t fucking care if your calender of vagueness vaguely interpreted that we should be together. It s not destiny, we just happened to enjoy eachother s company. What if the girl just simply asks on a first date casually what your star sign is?Fast and furious 7 1080p Nl subtitles arabic windows 10
How To Handle The Early Stages Of Dating A Man YourTango
Haha. I agree though surprisingly I ve had a guy say to me that we are astrologically perfect. . Gigantic fucking red flag. It s like asking somebody what their religion or political leanings are on a first date. If it s important enough to you to ask, then it s going to come up again. Just out of curiosity, why is asking about religion/politics a red flag on a first date? I know they re taboo topics, but I d like to know if we have an absolute incompatibility before things get serious. Comment score below threshold -8 points -7 points -6 points 7 years ago I can t speak for anybody else, but I couldn t give two flying monkey shits about either. If it s important enough for the other person to dredge up, then they re probably going to care a hell of a lot more about it than I am, which means we re going to end up fighting about it eventually. That s why I don t even like to be asked what my name is when I go on a date. I don t want her to keep bringing it up because my name is important to her. Comment score below threshold -7 points -6 points -5 points 7 years ago Personally, when I build my strawmen, I like to keep them together with something stronger than crazy glue. I think he brings up a valid point. Some people ask to make sure they re compatible. I doubt I d even have to ask, since pretty much all girls I might click with are liberal, but if I were to ask, it s mainly to make sure she s not too far towards either extreme. I didn t say they shouldn t ask. I said that asking was a red flag. That just means that the asking tells me something about their priorities that don t necessarily mesh with mine, and that things probably aren t going to work out, because of them. I always thought red flags were considered close to dealbreakers.
Like, after 7 or 8 red flags, you should stop seeing that person. So for rules - I (female! ) don t have rules about kissing, but I ve never kissed on the first date either because I wasn t into the guy, or I was into him and got nervous. So is your rule that you don t date girls who have arbitrary rules like no kissing on the first date or is it no arbitrary rules AND not kissing on the first date? It s got to be the former as if the girl was into him but not kissing him on the first date that would be an arbitrary rule. I think a better way to phrase my question would be, in this particular instance, how do you know if it is a rule the girl has or if she is clearly into you but just got nervous. Especially since we are talking about early dating deal breakers I would think that would be hard to distinguish? I agree that having arbitrary rules is stupid, I just want to know how you would be able to tell the difference? I think you would be able to pick up on nervousness no? As opposed to someone just flat out refusing based on an arbitrary rule. I see what you mean thoughI agree that it should be pretty obvious that the person is nervous. I just think it is interesting because some of these deal breakers are subjective. I think somebody said earlier that one of their deal breakers is if the woman doesn t have fun on the date, but unless she is being super prissy and stating outright that she isn t having fun, how does the guy know? I don t really have a point here. It is just interesting to see all the deal breakers people have and thinking how many of them are open to interpretation. It makes me wonder how many of my actions on dates have been misconstrued, or how often I misinterpret things. Finding out whether you re having or had fun at a date is quite straight-forward, IMO. Arbitrary rules, I think. It s supposed to be somewhat spontaneous based on how you feel, so the minute a woman s made a lot of physical contact with me (hand holding, a long hug and cuddle), then suddenly I get, sorry, no kissing on first dates I start imagining how many other things require a milestone or a test of some sort. Sex of course, but also.
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I m sure there are other reasons but why can t I come up with any right now? I think arbitrary rules like - no sex until the (insert super random number here)-th date are stupid. I have a pretty hard and fast rule that I will not have sex on the first or second date, but I feel like that rule is based on experience and is not arbitrary. Or another example - wait a similar amount of time to text back the other person that they waited to text you back. That s stupid. I will respond when I see the text, not after a predetermined wait period designed to out-apathy the party I am interested. I think any rule that turns dating into a game of who cares less is a huge turnoff. I m guessing those are some examples? Having no hobbies. The problem with this is I have lots of hobbies. If a girl has no hobbies you will become her main source of entertainment. Meaning it will cause friction if you want to hang out with the guys, or just spend time alone, or just want to do my hobbies. Because then she will get mad as she has nothing to do. Having no female friends. Now I don t care if they have lots of guy friends. However if a girl has a complete lack of other female friends it may be a red flag. Chances are it will mean she will not get along with your female friends, sisters, mom, ect. Also this is kind of a generalization so I don t want to sound sexist, but as a guy I have no interest in some topics females seem more interested in. Fashion or shopping in general, celebrities, scrapbooking, knitting ect. So no female friends will mean she will try to talk about all the stuff you have no interest in to you.
Thinks stupidity is endearing. Like the kind of person who boasts about how they don t read, or something. I understand it can be disarming to some, but I m not going to want to date somebody who I can t take seriously. Insists on talking about themselves more than anything else. I expect to hear about you on a date. But actions tell me more about who you are than words, and when you re giving me every detail about your entire life up until this point, it tells me you re self-absorbed. Smoking or drugs. Smoking gives you cancer, and a mouth that tastes like ass. And I ve seen the effects of alcohol and drug abuse in my family, so I don t need another person bringing that into my life. Believes in traditional gender dynamics. I don t, at any point, want to hear anything like Man does this, woman foes that. There s plenty of people who are into that, and I m sure they ll make you happy, but I m not one of them. If you want to go on a date, don t ask why I don t take you out take the ounce of initiative to ask me out. Optimistic attitude. I used to be very pessimistic, and I made myself miserable. Nobody wants to date a Sad Larry. Assertiveness. Seeing a girl whom is determined and knows what she wants is one of the most attractive things I can think of. If she asks me out first, she can have me. Is a good driver.
This one s a little more specific to me. I like a woman that can drive, and if she insists on doing the driving, even better. If she drives like she s going to be late to her own funeral, then we have a problem. I m okay with being with women who are less sexually experienced than me, but they ve got to be willing to try stuff, and communicate what they are into. Communication, people! Plays video games. This is by no means a requirement, but I d prefer it if somebody would kick my ass at some Halo, because my P7 controller is gathering dust. Oh man, when I meet someone who brags about not reading I get so much internal rage. Like it s fine if books aren t your thing, but to be proud of your ignorance is such a huge turn off. [deleted] 7 5 6 points 7 points 8 points 7 years ago The biggest dealmaker/dealbreaker is whether she is genuinely happy to pay for herself on dates and doesn t hold it against me if I don t pay for her. I don t pursue further dates with the women who clearly aren t satisfied with having to pay their own way. It s an excellent litmus test for whether she s looking to be an equal or a pet. I m currently dating a guy that is insisting on paying for everything and I let him pay for the first date, but on the second date he is continuing to insist even when I literally thrust my cash at the person at the cash register to pay and he just won t let me stating I am insulting him! What to do in this case? Thank you! I tried for at least an hour. (JK, obvi)Yeah, don t thrust your cash at him, He obviously feel strongly about it. It s nice to offer to pay your half, but don t push it. He s traditional that way. I m probably not the right person to for advice regarding this because it s pretty clear he has completely different views on the dating process than I do.
Ok, I am that guy. Ever since I was a little kid my mother has been telling me that I, as the guy, have to pay on dates, and although I don t understand why exactly I am going to do it unnless my date insists otherwise.