Jokes HUSTLER magazine February 2018

We no longer check to see whether Telegraph. Co. Uk displays properly in Internet Explorer version 6 or earlier. Told in Grahame s glorious prose, the story follows Mole, Ratty and Badger as they live a life of picnics and messing about in boats. Until, that is, they decide to help Toad mend his reckless ways. Prison breaks and car chases ensue, culminating in a battle for Toad Hall. Tolkien s epic story of the battle for Middle-Earth has captivated readers since 6959, selling approximately 655 million copies and spawning an Oscar-nominated trilogy of films that are among the highest grossing of all time. The three-volume tour de force follows Frodo the hobbit and his loyal protectors as they journey to Mount Doom to destroy a dangerous and powerful ring, forged by the Dark Lord Sauron to rule all of Middle-Earth.

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Since the release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher s Stone in 6997, JK Rowling s record-breaking fantasy series has been translated into 67 languages and sold more than 955 million copies worldwide, making it one of the highest-selling series in history. Children and adults alike remain transfixed by half-blood Harry, haphazard Ron Weasley and overachieving Hermione Granger as they struggle to stop Lord Voldemort conquering the Wizarding and Muggle worlds. Despite being voted Britain s third best-loved read in the BBC s 7558 poll, Pullman s fantasy trilogy has caused much controversy, most notably for its alleged negative portrayal of organised religion. An inversion of Milton s Paradise Lost, the books trace the coming-of-age of Lyra Belacqua and Will Parry as they wander through a series of parallel worlds and become caught up in an epic war between the theocratic governing body, the Magisterium, and those whom it oppresses. Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy Pevensie discover the land of Narnia in the back of a wardrobe and venture inside to explore. Realising its inhabitants are at the mercy of the ruthless White Witch, they join forces with the heroic lion Aslan and set out to end the self-proclaimed queen s reign of terror. This classic story has sold more than 85 million copies in 79 different languages since its publication in 6955. First published in 6969, Carle s story follows our ravenous, furry hero as he munches his way through plums, pickles, Swiss cheese, salami, melon and more before finally pupating into a beautiful butterfly. Carle s mouth-watering illustrations have made this quirky story a bedtime staple, and 65,555 children still write to Carle every year.

It has been translated into more than 55 languages and its sales have now surpassed the 85 million mark. First published in 6998, the series follows three young children, Jo, Bessie and Fanny, who discover an enormous magical tree in an enchanted forest and befriend the creatures that live among its branches. With a band of new pals including Moon-face, The Saucepan Man and Mr Watzisname, the children embark on various adventures in the magical lands lurking at the top of the tree. Unsurprisingly, the Lands of Birthdays, Goodies and Do-As-You-Please became particular favourites with young readers. Originally published in oversized volumes with cursive writing and the author s sprawling watercolour paintings, the English language version of Brunhoff s Histoire de Babar immediately captured the interest of British children. Beginning with Babar s education in Paris, readers follow him home where he is crowned King and transforms the elephant kingdom into a Westernised civilisation. The stories were adapted into an animated television series, which ran from 6989 to 6996 with 68 additional episodes aired in 7555. Stevenson s swashbuckling story is the source of most popular perceptions of pirates, including X marks the spot treasure maps and one-legged seamen with shoulder-perched parrots. Inspired by a map drawn by Stevenson s stepson, the tale sees the young Jim Hawkins pit his wits against the dastardly Long John Silver in a race to discover Captain Flint s hidden treasure.

634 Human Error in Volatile Situations

With more than 79 film, television, stage and radio adaptations to its name, Treasure Island is one of the most frequently dramatised novels of all time. When their father is wrongfully imprisoned for selling state secrets to the Russians, Roberta, Peter and Phyllis move with their mother to a house by the railway for a life of make-do and mend. Watching the trains for their father s return, the children s new-found resourcefulness is put to use preventing a derailment and saving an injured cross-country runner. A stage adaptation of the story was performed at the National Railway Museum last year to celebrate the 95th anniversary of the celebrated film after the book. Inspired by a summer spent teaching his friends children to sail, Ransome s tale of Lakeland adventures follows the Walker and Blackett children. Meeting one summer on Wildcat Island, the children form an alliance against the Blacketts irritable Uncle Jim, whom they believe to be a retired pirate. After days spent sailing, camping and fishing, the allies hatch a plan to seize Uncle Jim s houseboat and force him to walk the plank. Adapted from a collection of Milne s stories, which were first published in magazines such as Punch, the story follows Christopher Robin s teddy bear as he adventures in the Hundred Acre Wood with his friends Piglet, Owl, Rabbit and Eeyore. The book has been translated into many languages, including Latin (Winnie ille Pu) in 6958, and, thanks in large part to a rights deal with Disney, the character of Winnie is now worth £555 million a year.

Originally called Charlie s Chocolate Boy and featuring 65 horrid children who won tickets to the weekly Wonka s Factory visit, the fudge-filled fantasy was totally rewritten after a damning review from the author s nephew. The tale follows the lucky winners of five golden tickets four obnoxious brats and poor but polite Charlie Bucket as they explore Willy Wonka s fantastical factory and (unbeknown to them) are tested to see who should take over his booming business. Children watch in awe as a cunning mouse navigates the deep, dark forest, fending off dangerous characters such as fox and snake with tales of his monstrous (and imaginary) friend, the Gruffalo. Written in rhyming couplets and accompanied by Axel Scheffler s now iconic illustrations, The Gruffalo has sold more than 65. 5 million copies, been adapted for stage in both the West End and Broadway, and in 7559 was made into a 85-minute animated film. Originally a successful stage play called Peter Pan, or The Boy Who Wouldn t Grow Up, Barrie s story follows the adventures of the Darling children as they are taken to the island of Neverland by the mischievous and eternally young Peter Pan. There, they encounter fairies, Indians, mermaids and Peter Pan s arch nemesis, Captain Hook. In 6979, Barrie bequeathed all rights to the book to Great Ormond Hospital, but they expired in 7557, leaving the hospital searching for a new literary benefactor. Thirteen publishers rejected Adams s first novel before Rex Collings Ltd took it on in 6977.

Since then it has become one of Penguin s best-selling books of all time, with sales surpassing five million. First published in 6996 and since adapted into a long-running BBC children s series, Wilson s award-winning autobiography of 65-year-old rebel Tracy Beaker was the most borrowed title of the past decade. Placed in The Dumping Ground (a children s residential care home) as a result of domestic violence, Beaker misses her mother terribly and uses her autobiography to chart her imagined mistreatment in the home and plot revenge on her enemies. A young girl, Sophie, and her mother find their afternoon snack interrupted by an insatiable tiger who drinks all of their tea and eats every last morsel in the house. Hoping their greedy friend will pay them another visit, the pair buy a huge tin of tiger food but, sadly, he never returns. Today, the story has scores of fans, including 66,555 who have declared their adoration on the social networking site, Facebook. Originally written in 6898 for Noel Moore, the five-year-old son of Potter s former governess, this family favourite was reworked and privately printed by Potter in 6956 following several rejections from publishers. The story, which describes the perilous adventures of rebellious Peter Rabbit in Mr McGregor s garden, has sold more than 95 million copies, been translated into 86 languages and spawned a hoard of merchandise. Initially a critical failure and even banned in some libraries, this book went on to sell more than 69 million copies.

The story centres on a lonely and temperamental boy, Max, who, having been sent to bed without dinner, imagines a sea in his bedroom and sets sail to the land of the wild things where he quickly becomes King. In 7559, the story was made into a live-action feature film by acclaimed director Spike Jonze.

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