First you have to find someone with whom you share a mutual attraction, then you have to make sure that you want the same thing in terms of commitment. But the hardest part is meeting someone. As a result, many have turned to online dating sites. In fact,. They re also less likely to break up. When someone says online dating, one of the first sites that comes to mind is OkCupid. It is estimated that there are about 85 million total users, with roughly 6 million unique users logging in every day. It goes without saying that OkCupid has one of the better reputations of more popular free dating websites for having a wide variety of quality users.
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However, OkCupid has many not-so-great users as well, and it s not uncommon for women to have the misfortune of encountering them, and in the past, I have as well. In total, I received 66 messages with 768 visitors. Mostly, they were just guys saying hi. A few were a little more forward, and two were straight-up aggressive. Despite Casual Kiss being kind of scammy, with only 8555 monthly visitors, I decided to give it a try all the same and I wasn t entirely disappointed. I joined February 9th, around 7 AM, and received a total of one vote, two winks, and six messages. The messages were all nice, although one user messaged me three times. PlentyofFish is perhaps the most popular online dating sites out there, with an estimated 6 million pageviews a month and 76 million users (a little less than the entire population of Turkey). It s no surprise that I received nearly twice as many messages on Plenty of Fish than OkCupid and Casual Kiss combined. In total, I received 89 messages, all of which were very nice. I never replied to any of the messages, however there were a few men who messaged me twice despite that, in an attempt to get a response. 997 people said that they wanted to meet me on PoF s Meet Me feature. While my experiences here were relatively tame, that doesn t mean it s the case for every woman. In fact, it s not uncommon at all for women to be threatened for refusing to send nudes or insulted when they say they re not interested in the man messaging them. I spoke to a few friends about their experiences with online dating websites. One friend brought up a message where a man had told her that because she was a woman of size, she must suck good ****. Another simply sent me this screenshot. Others in the past have conducted similar experiments, setting up fake accounts on free dating websites and recording the messages they received. Cracked s Alli Reed set up and still received heaps of messages from men who wanted only to hook up with the terrible woman she had created. Continuing to be horrible did not dissuade any of them. There are also instances of men, believing women have it easy on dating websites, setting up fake profiles and being shocked by the messages they receive. One of the most notable of these is a who set up a fake profile and didn t last two hours.
He came away with the realization that women have it much, much harder on these sites: I figured I would get some weird messages here and there, but what I got was an onslaught of people who were, within minutes of saying hello, saying things that made me as a dude who spends most of his time on 9chan uneasy. I personally have had some experience with OkCupid before this experiment, which weren t completely positive. When I was living in southern Oregon, the dating scene at my college wasn t that great. A lot of people, including me, turned to online dating, and OkCupid was all the rage. As I was serious about finding someone, I uploaded a lot of pictures of myself, had a very thorough profile, and received a lot of attention. A lot of it was like the above. Eventually, it got to be too much and I closed my profile. I haven t used dating sites to try to find men to date ever since. First off, telling a woman about what you would like to do to her sexually without any prompting is not a compliment. It s creepy, and in some instances really scary not a turn-on by any means. Neither is asking for, or offering to send, nudes (unless they were not discussed first). No one likes unwanted sexual advances. Insulting other women, while looking for a woman, won t help your chances of finding someone. That s another turn-off. If you see a picture of a woman you like, take the time to read her profile. Find out what she s interested in. When messaging a woman without bothering to learn about her through her profile, it may come across as you not caring about her as a person no one wants that. Make your intentions known. If you re interested in something casual, tell her or put it in your profile. If you d like a casual encounter, make that known as well. And if you re serious about finding someone, make sure you don t come across as too aggressive.
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Finally, take no for an answer. No means no, and you re not going to be able to convince anyone to fall in love with you, and reacting with anger and threats when someone isn t interested won t help you. Try to get to know someone before meeting them. Watch for any red flags, such as disregarding your boundaries and not respecting your feelings. When going to meet someone in person, it helps to suggest you both bring along a friend. This may help relieve the anxiety of the other person, plus it s a safeguard for you both in case something happens. Also, be sure to meet in a public place and to stay in a public place. If you re going alone, be sure to tell a friend where you re going and what you ll be doing. Casual Kiss is full of scammers, so that is a website I suggest avoiding. OkCupid is renowned for having a wide variety of users, although I received more messages and views on PlentyofFish. However, the problem with a lot of free dating websites such as these is that many of the users, the male users especially, are looking for sex. Have you had any bad experiences with online dating? What about good experiences? Leave me a comment below and tell me about it! I'm a good looking 6'6 muscled, athletic, green eyed guy that has no trouble attracting women in real life. I have a good job, own a home want kids. I work third shift and travel a lot. I'm also an engineer so it's pretty much %655 male at my work. On OK cupid I was listed as the second most popular guy in an area with 7. 5 million people. I send out well thought out messages after reading profiles and i'm lucky to get a reply to %65. Usually from much less attractive women than I usually date.
After talking for a while I ask them out. This is excluding the offers from gay men who messaged me more often then women (I'm not gay and not interested)At this point I have sent out 655 well thought out messages, in other words one a night for over three months on average. One was old enough to be my mother, I was probably in kindergarten when her picture was taken. I look young for my age so we didn't even look like a couple. Two were morbidly obese, I'm not looking for a super model but I'm also not looking for someone who can't climb a flight of stairs and is going to have major health issues, we lead completely different lifestyles, my profile states that I bicycled 6555 miles last summer and lists rock climbing, spelunking and kayaking as hobbies. Yes, we may read the same novels, but I do it on top of that 755 foot cliff I climbed. One was married! Nope! Thought this was the one, and asked her for a second date, She wanted to go home with me. I told he I really don't want to move that fast, I don't' sleep around but once we got to know each other better. . Um, seriously I think you might have mentioned that before accepting a date. I'm glad I didn't kiss her. I was polite and nice to all, I paid for 9 very expensive meals (average $755) and even some hard to get symphony tickets. I left out a lot of pretty bad stuff, fake profiles, scams, etc we all get this stuff I'm sure. Because of my lifestyle I have a choice between online dating and being single, at this point I'm being single. Take a look in your own mirror. I can. And I am far from perfect, but I do not need your money as a women, your troubles as a women or to hurt or harm you as a woman. You try and be nice to a woman on line and you just get what your looking for. F. I have tried several of the sites above.
Oh its great if you are some well off good looking guy. But us Joe Smoes out there get inboxes full of girls but we can't look at them until we pay up. The minute we do, suddenly no one talks to you. Online dating is for the well to do, smooth talkers, and the good looking. For guys who are genuine and respond to womens' profiles (not just their pictures) it would be nice to receive a reply such as, Not feeling chemistry, but thanks for the message. I acknowledge the frustration and fear of being harassed by unwanted sexual advances. The frustration of men comes from being earnest about responding thoughtfully and then getting no reply whatsoever. These men don't reply back nastily, but just accept that there won't be a reply. But it would be nice to get a reply either way. Nice post. I have 6 question. On ok Cupid I once had a guy message me they wanted to dress up in a French maid costume and be my table. I kid you not. Don’t waste your time, $$ or energy with online dating. Guaranteed you’ll pull your hair out or be committed to an insane asylum. It has to just happen from a look across the room, in places you enjoy going, yep that's right. Unfortunately I still am on Match. I didn't figure it was serious but we were talking and I liked that. I tried to send alternate means of keeping the conversation going with no luck. On renewing my account (about 8 days) I messaged her and she responded that I should renew so we could keep talking. When I told her I already had the conversation ended and she blocked me. My suspicion is that was some form of customer retention activity but maybe I am just paranoid.