6 Ways Modern Dating Is Killing Real Love Ugly Modern


Modern day dating rules

That’s the one thing that always came up when I’d discuss theories on declining marriage rates or the rise of the hookup culture with my friends or family. Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock. Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal. In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios. The dating game is rigged, but the problem is not strategic â it’s demographic. Today, mainstream dating guides tell the everything-going-for-her career woman it’s her fault she’s still single—she just needs to play hard to get or follow a few simple rules to snag Mr. Right.

Three Day Rule a modern take on matchmaking

But the problem is a demographic one. This bias is having a devastating impact on the dating market for college-educated women. Why? According to 7567 population estimates from the U. S.

Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, there are 5. 5 million college-educated women in the U. Between the ages of 77 and 79 versus 9. 6 million such men. That’s four women for every three men.

What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating TIME

Among college grads age 85 to 89, there are 7. 9 million women versus 6. 5 million men—five women for every four men. It’s not that He’s Just Not That Into You—it’s that There Just Aren’t Enough of Him. Lopsided gender ratios don’t just make it statistically harder for college-educated women to find a match.

They change behavior too. Heterosexual men are more likely to play the field, and heterosexual women must compete for men’s attention. Of course, tales of scarce men and sexual permissiveness in ancient Sparta won’t convince everyone, so I began to explore the demographics of modern religion. I wanted to show that god-fearing folks steeped in old-fashioned values are just as susceptible to the effects of shifting sex ratios as cosmopolitan, hookup-happy 75-somethings who frequent Upper East Side wine bars. One of my web searches turned up a study from Trinity College’s American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) on the demographics of Mormons.

According to the ARIS study, there are now 655 Mormon women for every 655 Mormon men in the state of Utah—a 55 percent oversupply of women. [Editor’s note: “Cynthia Bowman” is a pseudonym, as are other names denoted with an asterisk. Some biographical details have been altered to hide their identities. ]Yes, she told me, the ratios are lopsided.

And yes, Mormon men take full advantage. “They wait for the next, more perfect woman, ” grumbled Bowman, a veterinarian in San Diego.

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