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He is my best friend, I couldn t be happier with him! My boyfriend and I used to work at the same place. When I showed interest in him, a mutual friend and coworker of ours told me he was unhappy. Eventually he dumped her and we started dating. It was a pretty frequent stream of calls and texts, even showing up outside his apartment to get some reaction out of him. My boyfriend told me she did have some underlying issues, depression and Behavioral Personality Disorder, and the best thing he could do was just to ignore it. He finally decided it was time to block her everywhere he could after one particular freak, even though he was nervous what she may do. Her presence was no longer an issue.

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Until about three weeks ago…. I was getting lunch in the cafe with my friends at work, and I thought I noticed a familiar face. It was indeed his ex-girlfriend. Within minutes she approached me, asked if I was so and so, and told me she had dated my boyfriend. She said she was working there now, in another department, but wanted me know she would be around, so it wasn t “weird.

” For someone I was told was quite shy, I felt her approaching me was quite bold of her. While she very well could have been doing a respectful thing, it made me feel she was trying to make a statement of some kind. I was too shocked to realize I was now face to face with her, so I said hello and thank you, and carried on with my lunch. I cannot understand why out of all the places to work, she chooses her ex-boyfriend’s old job, and where his current girlfriend works. I do work at a decent sized company where a lot of people around my age work, I will give her that.

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But considering the history? ? ! Ever since she approached me I feel as though I need to make a presence of some kind. This is MY job, MY space … and now because she has invaded it, I feel so anxious.

It was one thing to know she exists and was part of his past, you can put something like that away. But it is another when you have to see it at your job every day. Now I know she is there, I feel I need to make a presence of some kind. I want her to feel as uncomfortable as she has made me, and I hate that I care. I am frustrated because I know how happy my boyfriend and I are, and I know how UNHAPPY he was with her.

The issue lives solely within me, being aware this person is where I work every day. I just want to go to work without wondering if I’ll see her everywhere I go. I really just want to not care. Definitely do not  try to make her uncomfortable. That will reflect really poorly on you to anyone at work who hears about it or observes it, and it could horribly trash your reputation there.

You want to be known as mature and professional, not as someone who tries to make a colleague uncomfortable because she used to date your boyfriend. Seriously, it doesn t matter what the provocation is it will hurt you at work to do what you re talking about.

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