So you think you're ready to date? Scott has some suggestions on how to get started. All singles who profess Christ and aspire to marriage even as a possibility have this responsibility (even outside this area of life, we should all be trying to grow in Christ). Are you a Christian? If you're already sure of that basic answer, are you a growing and mature Christian? Are you generally humble and teachable, and do you respect authority? As a practical matter, are you responsible and holy in the way you possess your own spirit, mind and body? If you aspire to be a godly husband or wife someday, what have you done and what are you doing to prepare for that ministry?
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Second, are you at a place in your life at which you are ready and able to marry? As I've written on this site before, practice and recreation are not good reasons to date. Dating is for the purpose of finding a marriage partner. In my view, if you can't happily picture yourself married within a year, you're not in a position to date. Third, once you decide that you are ready to date, look to God's Word to decide the kind of person to date, and evaluate potential dating partners on those criteria, rather than relying primarily on the world's treatment of ideas like attraction and chemistry.
I wrote at some length on this in my article,. For you busy singles with time for only one mildly irritating column per day, the summary is this: Pick a potential dating partner with an eye toward godly manhood and womanhood with an eye toward who would make a good husband or wife, defined by those characteristics God esteems in His Word, not the ones Hollywood likes. See what an unsatisfying bumper-sticker treatment that was? You might want to read the full piece.
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This is true in the church and in the family. This is not a signal of male superiority or of the greater importance of men. It is simply God's design and assignment of equally valuable roles among spiritually equal beings. Men initiate, women respond. Briefly, biblical support for this position is found, among other passages, in the creation order in, in, and.
True, these passages refer to marriage, but it is wise and right to set patterns that will serve you well in marriage, especially if one accepts the premise that the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner. First, the man should initiate asking the woman out. Whether this means approaching the woman herself or her father or someone filling that role instead of her father, it should be the guy that starts things off. As I mentioned, he should not do this until he is ready to marry. If you're not ready to marry, you're not ready to date.
As a quick aside, if you are a single man and you would not describe yourself as ready to be married within a year, think about why that is. If you're still in school or not out on your own, disregard this for the moment. But if you're out of college and do not feel specifically called to singleness for biblical reasons, why are you not looking to be married? Has talked about a growing culture in society and in our churches of perpetual boyhood some psychologists call it the Peter Pan syndrome. As I said, in the Bible, marriage and family are considered a natural stage of progression toward manhood.
If you are floating around staying single because you enjoy social flexibility or having time to yourself or hanging out with the guys or because you have worldly ideas about the perfect woman or how to approach marriage, consider: Are you approaching manhood and marriage biblically?