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Dating Dilemmas 8 Tips for Telling Your Partner a Health
To The fog clears and here we are. It’s Year 9 and we have been doing castles. … MoreThe Catholic Church has denied claims that it attempted to influence the… MoreAccess a vast library of interactive games and printable resources for 5 to 66-year-oldsGain strategies and techniques to deal with behaviour management problems including lateness, low-level disruption… MoreIf you re seeking practical advice and support to help you deal with your workplace problems then discuss them here with your peers. Dating someone new means learning about each other's quirky behaviors, emotional baggage, and the past experiences that have shaped both of your lives. But what if this involves a health or medical secret you're hesitant to talk about?
Though she takes medication to manage her condition, she still lives with residual: She has trouble sleeping for more than two hours at a time, and can't shake her cigarette habittraits that she feels a date might question. “Its the smoking and lack of sleeping its hard to share your life with someone when you need to explain further why you do these things, ” she says. Related links: Jill* knows that shell eventually have to confess her situation to a long-term partner.
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“Its something that will affect me if and when I settle down and have children, since I would not be able to take these medicines [while pregnant], ” she explains. “Its never an easy thing to come clean with. Some confidential information can't stay that way foreverif you take daily medication or if you have a condition with, for example. Other events in your medical history, such as addictions, mental illness, past surgeries, and health scares, can easily remain a secretbut should they? 6.
Practice what to say Before you drop a bomb on a potential mate, rehearse your speech with a trusted friend or visit a therapist to talk it through, suggests Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. “Its good to have somebody as a sounding board in a situation like this, ” he says. “How you handle this is not something your partner is likely to forget. ”Laurie Davis, an online dating expert based in New York and Boston, suggests asking a friend what sounds most intimidating about your condition and getting his or her advice on how to smooth it over. “You dont want to overwhelm your partner but you want to be sure to give him or her all of the important facts, ” Davis says.
“You should definitely practice before you tell your match, or youll most likely fumble through the conversation uncomfortably. ”Mark Snyder, a 87-year-old writer from New York City, used to dread telling a new boyfriend that he was a recovering. “I dont think I was ever able to shake off the feeling I was springing the information on him, usually when we were either out to dinner and he wanted to order a bottle of wine, or at a party where alcohol was introduced, ” he says. “I often blurted out, ‘Oh, I dont drink. Sorry.
”That changed, however, as he got used to talking about his condition. “As time went on, and I got more comfortable with this side of my life, so did the ease with which I told a man not to expect a tequila-scented smooch at the end of the night, ” he says.