A journalist and author s musings on love, marriage, divorce and lifeHere s what s happened in the past year two girlfriends have gotten engaged, and one has her condo on the market and is looking with her boyfriend to buy a new place and move in together. They are all 55-something, empty-nesters and divorced. Who says middle-aged women can t find love again? We re perpetually fed a line that we re looking for love in a market that doesn t value us, says Marina Adshade, an economics professor in Canada and author of Dollars and Sex: How Economics Influences Sex and Love. We meaning older women. Like my friends. Like gulp!
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Me. In a talk before boomers (you can watch it below), Adshade says older women really aren t disadvantaged on the dating market. If that were true, they would be lowering their standards. But that has not been the case, she says. In fact, she notes that older women are a lot more selective than older men and younger women are when it comes to picking a partnerIf anything, it s more of a level playing field when it comes to midlife dating. That said, the dating market for older singles isn t all that easy. There just aren t that many available singles our age and the ones who are available are an interesting lot (read to understand). However, with the, there are a lot more older people available than ever before. So, because of that and the fact that we live longer, she says, it s worth putting the time and energy into looking for love regardless of your age. The difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don t necessarily want the same things. That may be true for younger people, but that isn t always the case at this age, she says. Because men have shorter lifespans, many older men are interested in having a potential caregiver or a nurse with a purse. They tend to than older women, but it isn t because older women can t find a hubby it s because. That isn t true for my three girlfriends, but it s true for me. She believes and I agree that more people need to talk openly about this because all older women hear (and thus believe) is that older men are only looking for much younger women. OK, many of them are. But are they getting them? Not really, unless they re wealthy and powerful. (And I have always believed that it s good to identify those men and remove them from the 55-something dating pool ASAP I m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! ). I, too, am not looking for a husband (although I m not necessarily against marrying), but I most definitely would like a partner uhh, with conditions. A r. They wanted both. I do, too. In fact, many said they were not interesting in caretaking ever again they d been there and done that.
But they were not willing to compromise on losing their sense of freedom, to the point that they were willing to be lonely before sacrificing independence. I don t want to be alone or lose my freedom is it possible to have both without having to become a wife again? I sure hope so. I definitely would have trouble giving up my freedoms. Well, more accurately, I would have trouble compromising. That is a learned skill and I don t think I have learned it very well, having lived alone for around ten years. Yes, I know how to compromise with my two cats (I clean the box they don t poop on the carpet), but men are much more complicated than cats. (Obviously. )Hi Onely! Please don t look at Hollywood or the media for that fact for any truth about people (well, you can believe this blog! ) So, in The New I Do, the book I m co-writing (it went to the publisher yesterday — yay! ), we say that, yes, you can create freedom in your marriage. Not 655%, but enough so you don t feel that you ve lost who you are, and can still have your stuff your way. Do you really think you can t do that? Or, do you just not want to do it? Like me, I have a handful of friends who are single again, in their 55s. Maybe it depends on location, but many of us know if you meet them in the bar-leave them in the bar! . With such busy schedules with work, family, volunteer work and some returned to school, believe me, they aren t holed up! All of us are choosing wisely, as we do have, at least some interest in remarrying, but this time we are hoping to find a keeper (and be one), and it may take a while, in these parts! Aww what s wrong with cats? Did Svetlana in Ukraine take all your money on that Romance Tour? LOLI don t have any pets. Not even a fish. Too much expense and responsibility.
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At this age, I want to travel without animals or small children. The kids are grown and my job is done. LolTo John and all other single people. Stop worrying about finding someone. Desperate people can be spotted a mile away! If someone that you are interested in dating doesn t want to date you, move on. The greatest thing each of us can do for ourselves is to learn to be completely independent of any and all need to be with someone because I hate or am scared to be alone symptom! Learn to cook from scratch for yourself, not box in a microwave! Clean your home, scrub the shower and tub with comet. Clean windows and glass with windex. Do your own laundry. Learn to sew and mend your clothes. Learn to iron your shirts. Master your life inside your four walls and you will have the greatest gift for yourself. Thank you! ! I could not have said it any better! Totally codependentThe bottom line is each and everyday I make myself happy and depend on no one to help me achieve my happiness or fix the broken toilet. And it feels incredible! And I can do the whole I m a girl I need a man thing and enjoy it but it s sexual role play. It would be awesome to have that dimension in my life but it s not a big deal if I don t. It s a want not a need 🙂And on line dating seems to me to be a joke, its just unnatural so if I meet this dream man off-line great but if not I am still happy! Hi. I am a 97 year old female, divorced for a little over 5 years. I am not looking for George Clooney.
I am looking for an honest man, who is sweet and genuine, and who can make me laugh, and who has a heart open for love. Not all women are looking for the same things. I don t care about his income amount, all I care about is that he works obviously but the amount is not what matters to me. Just a few thoughts. Maria. I am 99 and a nice man living near the District of Columbia/Northern Va. Where do you live? Nope. I m a type a woman and I can assure you we type A women avoid wedding bands and everything and anything having to do with them whatsoever! I am 98 and have zero interest in a permanent mate. I have been married three times and cherish my freedom. I have no desire to be someone maid, caregiver or source of income. Angela, You can t be anywhere near where I m at (NE/IA) because I m just not seeing that type of thing. Around here, I never see what you posted but it s exactly what I keep waiting for. About your alone time, Im glad for that, because I need mine too. No, not with the opposite sex, but alone, to recharge, read, take a walk or garden. Are you for real? And I have always believed that it’s good to identify those men and remove them from the 55-something dating pool ASAP I’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! Remember the 95s? Remember the large number of women your age who, when they were the younger women, were out dating the woodstock generation men while blowing off the men their own age? Now that you re one of the older women, you want to get self-righteous about the idea of one of the men your own age dating somebody younger? I endorse your sentiments. As a male of the age demographic in question (not that I am dating or trying to date), I hear more from women that they have no use for a man in their lives than I do one seeking a partner. By the time men are in their 55s, the workplace has taken their lives away from them as a condition of employment. Thou Shalt Have NO Boss Before The Job Boss!
By the time women are in their 55s, the kids are gone, the house is made in their image, and they have established all the rules. Noting causes more divorces than the Empty Nest. While the bitterness is palpable, the point is valid. A lot of men who are 95 to 65 today were screwed by the angle Jacob describes. And in the 7565s, people ask why certain folks act a certain way, as if it s a crime to be guarded. Jacob was right. And some people cannot handle it. Women in their 55 s have no practical use for a man, unless they are desperate/destitute. They can t reproduce anymore, so there s no biological hunt to find the best male producer/provider. The primary motivation to find or be with a man is gone. All that s O. K. It just leaves them floundering for the next 85 years of their lives. What bullshit+generalization. There are over 55 women who lose their sex drive+others who increase it due to decreasing demands from children. I m not floundering-successful in every area of my life. Multi orgasmic. Very few 75 year Olds are in this place of enjoyment, financial stability+happiness with family/life-don t assume you know anything regarding me. You re wrong. Enjoy the 75 year old drama-matches your emotional intwlligence(even when they are out of shape+way less everything) feeds your pathetic egoPlease stop talking, or typing as the case is, you are making we women look crazy. I am 55 and single. My husband did run off with another woman two decades ago didn t want to be a father anymore, he said. And, has not seen his kids since. I can see that I am an attractive woman I believe most men would agree. I am 5 9 and wear a size 6, not that such things qualify me as an expert in being attractive.
However, it should rule out the Fat and ugly comments that many women s posts on such topics seem to bring. Now that my children are grown and married, I too am looking for someone to share my life with.