Great info! I enjoy reading all of this blog, and it has stopped me from boggling my mind about a few things! Anyway, I m a male who is his 95 s on Match. I seem to run into this a lot and haven t seen this addressed. But I still get no questions in return to start a conversation. Confusing. Should I assume this is one of those. She isn t into me things?
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It s not that she s not into you. It s that you probably haven t given her a compelling reason to be. Why don t they ever ask questions? What am I supposed to say? Yet she didn t realize that she was an equal part of the problem.
He asked her a silly question and started grilling her with more and more trivia questions, teasing her about what she might win if she got all the questions right. She played along and pushed right back and they ve already got a first date lined up. It made me funny in response to him, she replied. He was so lively and engaging that I sort of had no choice but to come back with something equally witty and creative. So by him writing something playful and interesting to you, he actually brought out a more playful and interesting side of you?
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You re right, I said. And what man doesn t love a funny woman? She agreed, wholeheartedly. Yes, but it s a lot easier when he says something and I can respond to him. I agree.
They re just as boring as the ones that you received. Wouldn t it stand to reason that if you took the time to write something interesting and creative back to these guys, you might discover that they actually have a personality? And yet this one guy with the trivia questions was able to bring out your playful side. The moral of the story is that you are ALWAYS responsible for how you leave a conversation. This is equally true on dates.
By being optimistic, playful, interested and interesting, you can almost always transform any evening into a pleasant experience. The problem is that we don t we expect the other person to do the heavy lifting to make the plans, to ask the silly questions, to raise the playing field. We all want someone to set the tone and follow along, instead of realizing that we re always setting the tone ourselves. I realize that I ve gone on a bit of a tangent from your original question, Dwayne, but this is important. You haven t created a compelling reason why she should write back to you over all others.
And yet most of us get online and wonder why it always feels so stale. It s because YOU RE making it stale, and you re accepting stale conversation from others.