Before we start talking about Dating in Japan one thing should be crystal clear: If you ve ever been to Japan you might have noticed that there s a tremendous number of (often not so handsome) foreign guys walking hand-in-hand with Japanese women. And at the same time there s only a very tiny number of foreign (read: non-Asian) women with Japanese men next to them. A lot of Japanese women want a guy that tells them several times a day how much he loves them. For some reason (maybe through the consumption of too many Hollywood movies) Japanese women think that foreign men are like that! They re not afraid of showing their feelings in public or telling their girls flat out how they feel about them. These are just a few theories by friends, co-workers and myself.
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I m sure you have your own and there s much more behind all this, but that s it for starters, I guess. It is by far not impossible and I know quite a few girls who don t only have a Japanese boyfriend, but are also married to a Japanese man, but it is still the BIG exception! It might be a different story in bigger cities such as Tokyo and Osaka with a more international community, but in smaller cities and in the countryside with more traditional ideals it can be very difficult for foreign women. Please note that the following is based on my personal experience and that not everybody out there is like that. Although they live in Japan and sometimes even have children together who also speak Japanese, the foreign guys don t / can t speak Japanese.
One big problem seems to be the fact that in Japan the man earns the money, but the woman takes care of it! The man only gets a small allowance every week or month and needs to ask his wife for permission if he wants to spend any more of his own hard-earned money! Foreign guys often seem to struggle with this system. Because of all that I ve seen couples who got divorced, even when there were kids involved. For the opposite constellation you ll see that in most(!
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) cases the woman speaks Japanese. She has studied Japanese properly or puts in a lot of effort to improve her Japanese ability even if the Japanese man can speak her native tongue. They know how to survive in Japan even without the help of their husband / boyfriend who is at work most of the time anyways. The man seems to accept that she wants to keep working even after marriage. And even those who haven t seem to accept that there are cultural differences and they don t expect the same they would from a Japanese woman.
Of course, there are enough reasons for disputes, but all in all they seem to manage better than couples where the man is foreign. If you still want to read more, here are some great books on Dating in Japan: LOL. It s true that it s a shame that I was not interested in Japan when I was young and single, that would have be very fun I suspect. :
-)Thank you very much. That s a great idea and I m working on it! I ll definitely post about it soon! : DMany of my male friends have told me (while quite drunk) that they feel they might not be suitable for foreign ladies due to their Japanese size.
I guess it is a delicate matter even though people say that it doesn t matter. So the Japanese guys go for the girls that they think are more compatible in that area.