Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the and to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating. And the most common answer is: I worry that I m too fat to date. I ll be honest: I m not surprised. America s a big country and we re getting bigger. According to the , 69% of adults 75 years old and over are overweight and 85% are considered obese. And yet even when the number of people who are considered overweight form the majority of the population, obesity is in many ways one of the remaining acceptable prejudices.
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Last week, the #fatshamingweek hastag was trending on Twitter as numerous assholes and shitbags took to the network and decided to mock fat people mostly women, but men too from behind the dubious anonymity of their Twitter accounts. Now we could dwell on the fact that these various winners are not gym-sculpted Adonnises themselves, but instead I want to focus on the positive and work on improving people s lives instead of trying to stroke the hate-boner. Besides, the best revenge is living well and there s nothing quite like seeing the underdog succeed despite all of his or her disadvantages. I mean, c mon. The cognitive dissonance alone can make people s heads explode.
Now, I m going to be blunt: dating can suck when you re fat. But being large and in charge doesn t mean that you re doomed to a life of being in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you d ever believe possible. Except they totally do. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around.
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Kevin Smith, for all of his fashion sins that I will get into in a second, is happily married with a lovely wife and daughter. Patton Oswalt, same story. Josh Gad, ditto. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he s also happily married. It s easy to forget this when the TV and magazines are showing you nothing but image after image of cut, veiny men with swimmers builds with women draped all over them like fur stoles, but women actually like a far wider range of body types than we d think.
Ask five women what their ideal male build is and you ll get six different answers. More importantly though, it s important to remember that attraction is it s about , and . There s no denying that looks help. But not only are they not the only factor, they re the one that sPart of being able to accept that women will find you attractive is to understand that being fat isn t a cut and dry issue. Weight in the US is a loaded subject society often equates being heavy with being lazy and/or weak-willed.
Being fat is treated as a referendum on your worth as a person people see it as an implication that you re only fat because you simply don t want to change badly enough. After all, if they d just apply themselves, fat people could lose weight easily! Right? Well not so much. Some people can lose weight without barely trying while others can exercise and diet until their eyes bleed and barely see the scale shift.
As we ve been learning over the years, weight gain and loss is more complicated than a simple issue of calories ingested = calories burned. The most obvious issue is the simple fact that not all calories are the same otherwise people could lose weight while eating a restricted calorie diet that consisted primarily of sugar and Doritos.