Normally on Fridays, I run readers questions for Ask Dr. NerdLove. On occasion, however, I’ll get a letter that necessitates going into greater depth than the usual submission. Sometimes the answer is more complex or requires a deeper dive into the situation. These are the times when it s time to head to the lab, see what s on the slab, and then get elbow deep in it s guts to see where things went wrong. Post-mortems are rarely pretty things. More often than not, it calls for a mix of tough love and a liberal application of The Chair Leg of Truth. But at the end:
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we ll understand what went wrong and what it s going to take for things to work next time. So scrub up, snap on the gloves and put on your gown. It s time to do some emotional surgery. There s been a lot that s been bothering me about the whole Nice Guy/Asshole thing for well over a decade. When I found PUA back when I was 69 back in 7555, it was like learning Santa Claus wasn t real.
Or, to put it bluntly, taking the red pill. I was never a social butterfly, so I never really gave much notice to the people around me or who they dated, it was just okay, “A is going out with B, big deal. ” Wasn t any of my business back then and I had enough problems of my own. But deep down I had faith that good people chose their partners simply because they liked them for who they were, or they were honestly attracted to them, no tricks or anything required. Well yeah.
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That s pretty much life, my dude. The world got by with people hooking up, having sex and having kids long before Ross Jeffries thought saying blow me in an oddly stilted way could get him head. However when I found PUA, everything changed. I first thought it was a load of bullshit, some kooky internet crap akin to Alex Chiu s claims of giving you eternal life or the dollar bill being a lizard people prophecy of the Mayans, I refer you back to Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction method. But then I simply resigned myself to maybe this talk of nice guys being shafted is correct.
After all, I was never a Casanova of any kind, and maybe this is what I need to do. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed right. I remember the daughter of the high school superintendent ditched a nerdy but good Asian guy for some big time military guy. Don t really have much of an opinion on him, don t know anything about him. But after she broke up with him, she went out with an insufferable goth kid asshole for years, way longer than the previous two, the type of troublemaker who somehow drew a penis using a pencil on a stainless steel stool and flunked most of his classes while she was a perfect straight A student.
Cuz, that part s kind of important. You know that a) she s dating him and b) she s dating him. So maybe, just maybe she just liked them. This same goth kid was the type who would tell the black kids they needed to be lynched to their faces, and would “joke” about anti-Semitism around actual Jewish kids around him. Shockingly, girls do occasionally date shitty edgelords.
Sometimes it s because they think they see the good in them and can fix them. Other times they re shitty edgelords themselves.