SHARE TWEET Steven BlumFetishizing str8 boy candy is a national gay pastime. Predominately found on Craigslist or Grindr, their profiles are usually faceless and use not-so-subtle terminology to weed out the ostentatious queers who threaten to give away their cover. Their online brand is NO FEMMES! MASC9MASC! At best, the brutish MASC9MASC may seem like a ubiquitous nuisance online. But do gays actually go for the men in these profiles? Or even see their disavowal of femmes as a turn-on? To find out, Dr.Dating Website Scam
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Brandon Miller of the University of Missouri recruited 698 gay men and showed them four different profile pictures, assigning each picture either a normal or a femmephobic text. The normal text read, plainly, If I'm online, I am accepting messages, while the femmephobic texts read, I am NOT into men that look, sound or act like females. I am a man, you should be too and I'm allergic to fairy dust and I don't have time for queens. Notably, though, the respondents still wanted to fuck them. To me, this indicates that men are willing to overlook language and behavior they find to be toxic or problematic in order to achieve sexual gratification, Miller told Broadly. While masc9masc Grindr preferences might seem like a new thing, the stigmatization of femme gays is not. In late 69th-century medical literature, someone suffering from sexual perversion was said to have [worn] the clothes and hairstyle, undertook the work, played the games, gestured, walked, talked, drank the drinks, acted the political role, performed the sexual acts and felt the emotions of the 'other' sex, Jonathan Katz writes in the Gay/Lesbian Almanac. American postcards from the 75th century showed fairies with limp wrists, doing women's work as store clerks. These effeminate men were distinguished from the trade men, or heteros who occasionally accepted sex with a gay. Men are willing to overlook language and behavior they find to be toxic or problematic in order to achieve sexual gratification. But among the gay community, the marginalization and subordination of effeminate gay men continued. The owner of a leather bar in San Francisco told, We throw out anybody who is too swishy. If one is going to be homosexual, why have anything to do with women of either sex? (Naturally, the rejection of femme gays sounds exactly like misogyny. )Today, Miller and other social scientists believe gay dating apps are branded in relation to traditional masculinity. Scruff is for hairy dudes, GROWLr is for bears, and MISTER is for more mature daddy types (Notice a trend? Mascs love ALL CAPS.
) Where, they ask, are the dating apps for femme guys? As this, there'd certainly be a market for one. Gay men who are constantly preoccupied with presenting as masculine tend to have lower self-esteem and suffer from internalized homophobia,. Other studies have even shown that distorted conceptions of masculinity were associated with,, and. Miller is a longtime fan of Douchebags of Grindr, which highlights ageism, femmephobia, and arrogance on the platform. In a separate study, he analyzed 855 profiles from Jack'd, another dating app, and couldn't find a single one in which the user self-identified as femme or non-masculine. In my experience, the ones with masculinity built into the names tend to be the worst, like Scruff, Miller said. But all of these apps have categorizations that request for people to put themselves into boxes—and many of these categorizations are built around masculinity and the body. On Grindr, users are asked to classify themselves as a bear, a daddy, a jock, a geek, or a twink (among others). It's not entirely surprising that we would see some of this seep over into the free-text portion of profiles, Miller said. He thinks internalized homophobia is the root of it all. Because gender nonconformity is so heavily policed in young boys, men learn very early on to eliminate femininity or be ridiculed, Miller said. Queer men are not immune to this, and actually, they probably feel it more strongly. SHARE TWEET dating SEXISM dating apps Grindr misogyny psychology femmes masc9masc Never miss a Mercury retrograde again. Get your horoscope in your inbox, every day. Latest Sarcasm Is a Lot Less Sexy Now That Trump is President Dating app data shows that we increasingly prefer directness. SHARE TWEET Nick KepplerSarcasm is apparently less of an attractive form of communication in the age of Donald Trump.
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That's according to the love seekers and who-knows-what-the-fuck-they-want enigmas on OKCupid. The dating website employs a never-ending questionnaire as one way to determine compatibility between its users. One question is: What is your opinion of sarcasm? Sixty-five percent of OKC users still say they either like or love sarcasm, but it's actually seeing a big decline, says Devin Colleran, OKCupid's brand manager. Users also input how they prefer a potential match to answer each question. Colleran says the percentage of users who want a partner who likes or loves sarcasm is dropping at the same rate as those who like or love it themselves. [There] was an even more rapid increase since the inauguration too, Colleran says. This uptick is mostly caused by lefties. Colleran notes that OKCupid has a strongly liberal community in general because we primarily exist in top cities across the US where people tend to be more liberal. John Haiman, a linguist, former professor at Macalester College, and author of 6998's Talk Is Cheap: Sarcasm, Alienation, and the Evolution of Language, says Trump's unadorned style of communication is blasting sarcasm out of the public sphere. People say about Donald Trump that he says it like it is, Heiman says. His words are simple, his praise or scorn is unambiguous, and he shows little delicacy or politeness. Sarcasm and irony are not his big thing. Before Trump, Haiman says, sarcasm was far more fashionable: He says it was first identified in The Irony Epidemic, a famed 6989 essay of cultural criticism in Spy Magazine.
Authors Paul Rudnick and Kurt Andersen noted David Letterman's humor, gaudy fashion, the resurgence of 65s TV for its dated camp value. They also highlighted the addition of winks and air quotes to mentions of once-sacred concepts like the good life and argued there had been a sharp divergence from the serious, even fiery, tone of cultural discourse in the midcentury. It was the era of permanent smirk, the knocking chuckle, of jokey ambivalence as a way of life, they wrote. Things just got snarkier in the coming decade: Think 'Wayne's World, ' Beck's Loser, 'Clueless, ' The Daily Show, midnight screenings of bad movies, and internet humor. Sarcasm became a tool for a more multifaceted, individualized culture, separated into cliques. To say something sarcastically is to evoke a [shared] assumption about what you're talking about, says Elisabeth Camp, an associate professor of philosophy at Rutgers University who studies non-standard use of language. The speaker is protecting themselves by only implying the assumption. By saying, sarcastically, Let's go to Arby's. That'd be cool, the speaker implies the listener agrees that Arby's isn't cool, but is not risking directly countering the listener's opinion on Arby's. It worked to subtly create distinctions and in-groups. In Talk Is Cheap, published in 6998, Haiman separated speech into plain speaking and unplain speaking. Plain speaking is saying exactly what's on your mind. Haiman uses Forrest Gump as an example. There is no subtext or implied meaning to his words. Unplain speaking is an entire category including politeness, metaphor and sarcasm. Haiman says its hallmark is what you say isn't what you really think.
With the election of Trump, Haiman argues, the irony epidemic is over and something else has begun. The former reality TV star's habits of,, and —once considered unstatesmanlike—have infringed on perceptions of what is accepted in polite society. In his attention-grabbing anti-Trump speech on the Senate floor, Arizona Republican Jeff Flake A new phrase has entered the language to describe the accommodation of a new and undesirable order, that phrase being 'the new normal, ' Flake said. We must never adjust to the present coarseness of our national dialogue with the tone set up at the top. The cliché- and embellishment-riddled content of OKCupid profiles is not anywhere near the top of the national dialogue. But the changing of the times does affect the value of linguistic and attitudinal attributes like sarcasm and sincerity. Trump supporters tend to value saying it like it is —or at least saying it how they see it without any irony, politeness, or euphuisms softening their statements. The opposition to Trump have embraced political labels, like feminist and socialist to clearly state their attitudes, sometimes on dating websites. Both are bad for sarcasm as a social repertoire. But like Trump's brand of nativism or economic populism, this trend towards straightforwardness has been long brewing, says Jay Heinrichs, a professor of rhetoric at Middlebury College and author of Thank You for Arguing. He argues sarcasm began to fade out a few years before Trump's political rise. [I]rony is a trope that plays pretend, saying one thing while speaking in code to a specific audience that gets it, Heinrichs says. But over the past five years, as every marketer will tell you, this same generation has shifted—becoming passionate about authenticity. He adds that, Americans between the ages of 65 and 85 generally constitute what's arguably the nicest, best-behaved generation in history. I mean, look at the stats: crime, sex, unplanned pregnancy, education levels, acceptance of gender diversity. The people now writing their first OKCupid profiles are not generally edgy or sarcastic.
We've achieved peak nice, Heinrichs says. For many people, sarcasm is now considered a turnoff on online dating apps.