Oh, I thought it might be because you didn t say anything about my last blog post. See what I did there? That was passive aggressive. It was my way of saying, Did you read my last blog post? If you did, tell me you liked it. And if you haven t read it, please do. And then tell me you liked it. Passive Aggressive is a very handy language.
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It allows you to get what you want, or express your feelings, without being disliked or rejected. Well, actually, you might be disliked or rejected because people are on to you and how annoying you are, so it doesn t really work. But here are some other examples of how you can use it: Want to say, I don t like you and never will? That will never fly. Instead, try mispronouncing the person s name again and again, no matter how many times they correct you. If it s Goldstein, pronounced gold-stine, always pronounce it gold-steen. Or, even more effective: try calling them by the wrong name altogether, and turning them into an ape. Endora, Samantha s mother on Bewitched, perfected this technique. Want to say I m attracted to you and I d like a date with you? Don t. What if they say no? Instead, try breaking into their house and pooping on their bed. It will send the person a mixed message, so they can t accuse you of having the hots for them. As you can see, passive aggressive comes in many flavors. To make it easy, I ve broken them down into subcategories, along with examples. This is a great, passive-aggressive gift for the passive-aggressively special someone in your life. Instead of saying, You re passive aggressive, you can hand them this guide and say, I paid TEN DOLLARS for this and printed it out for you because it was so funny and made me think of you! Some of these are right out of your mouth! Want to learn to speak Passive Aggressive? Want the only accurate Passive Aggressive guide in existence? My pocket guide will give you the key passive-aggressive examples you need to get around in the non-confrontational universe. Download it now. Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way. Hmm. I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might have to say yes. Women care more about being nice. I have to say that us Brits are all mostly very passive aggressive. We d rather be polite than obnoxious. I live in the USA now and I see many Americans as active aggressive. While it s very direct to be this way it can be very annoying to have someone in-your-face about everything they do not like.
How about just keeping it to yourself? I say if you can t say something positive don t say anything at all. But I m a Brit. What do I know. I am an American living in the UK with a passive agressive husband. Although I find this site funny and interesting, there is a serious side to it all. Due to my husbands PA nature, I am leaving him and going back home where the agressive people are easier to read as they are in your face. You Brits lay down, take it and carry on. No chanceI m curious, are you leaving your husband because he s PA or just because you don t want to be with him period? Oddly enough I have just left my American wife but not because she s PA (because she can be at times). A question if I may. My sister, who also lives over here in the US, is criticized for being PA. Yet when she is AA (active aggressive) people thinks she s being obnoxious. I have the exact same experience. I guess us Limeys have to learn how to be AA in a way that is acceptable over here? Oookkkkkey people, please get back to the topic. Yeah, and thanks for airing your personal issues to people who can t care less! High 5! Cheryl. Awesomely funny I thoroughly laughed my butt off! I agree that aggressive people are easier to read and are the more predictable. I would rather spend time with aggressive ppl as they are DIRECT. I always know where I stand. Ye if a woman is in front of me. If I hit someone I hit hard. . With fear. That element of fear is vital. NICE. Sadly, almost every type of passive aggressive statement listed was expressed by my former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder! What, you didn t want to stay friends with her? She sounds great!
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LOL well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as I ve certainly heard most of those. Sadly, I ve even uttered some myself on occasion. : /Thanks, Jess. Yes, I ll admit, some of those came right from my own mouth. Living with a person who masters Passive Aggressive must be like living at the Acid House 🙂What? I m not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of saying, go google Acid House'? Wow, it s so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline Wow, it s so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. A spot-on indictment (oh, I m sorry is it indicktment? ) that rings so true it was actually almost painful to read. I have been a party to just about each of the 66 types I think I ve heard more than I ve said. I obviously need to step it up. You do need to step up to the plate. Don t let anyone beat you at being passive aggressive. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Hey, I m not trying to take anything away for you. This was meant to be encouraging. I m so glad you posted a blog today. But, seriously, I was having withdrawal. I must have forgotten, because I don t think I ve ever reached the semi-daily level of output. I ll have to pick up the pace don t want you to get the shakes. There s also the passive aggressive note-leaving or text-sending (esp with roommates), so as to not deal with people in real life ever. Yes, I d say technology has made it way easier to be passive aggressive, but maybe the invention of the post-it, long before mobile phones, was the true turning point. I love this too much. Posted to my blog. People are loving it too much over there as well! Wow, that s awesome. You made me a little bit viral! (Can you be just a little bit viral? ) Thank you so much. Great list! I have heard most of these and maybe said a couple (with out meaning to be PA, actually!
) One more to add: Oh yeah. Totally understand if you have to bail out is a clear Can we please bag this? I ve used it many times myself. Congrats, Laura. You just cracked the linguistic code of all of the female members of my mother s side of the family. My grandmother was the Queen of Passive Imposing: Oh, I m so thirsty. (Would you get me some water? ) and my mother s awesome at Passive Resentful Oh, you re having your wedding in New Jersey instead of Ohio? How modern. (Nice girls have their weddings in their home states. ) I m pretty sure I ve inherited that gene, too, based on how many times my husband has called me out on it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to treatment, no? #5: Passive Irritated/Passive Disgusted (strangers) is an alive and well and practiced in many elementary classrooms across the country, unfortunately. How modern! That s excellent. My friend s mother-in-law-to-be, when she didn t like my friend s wedding decisions, would shrug, Well, it s *your* wedding! Greata list. How about Would you mind moving from your back onto your side honey? Meaning really: your snoring is driving me f*cking insane! This probably falls into #7 but ending questions with or. Instead of just saying what you want drives me nuts! Like when my former manager used to say: Are you going to finish that spreadsheet tonight orrrrrrrrrrr. Which is in the same category with the very popular so. As in, I was actually in line before you. So. Love it! It s such a relief to know that I don t engage in any of that stuff. I don t, do I? Some of these, to my shame, were me.
Still are me when I m tired or cranky. Passive Over-explanation: Where you insert a thousand questionably-relevant details in to show how much the other person s neglect has WOUNDED you. Phrase: I mean it s not big deal or anything but I had to take the later 675 bus instead of the 675 and because the 675 isn t an express it look like an extra 67 minutes and so I had to sit next to this guy that smelled like butt and we got delayed an extra three minutes at that set of lights in the city, but it s not a big deal or anything Yes, I though it was important that you know exactly how big a butthead you are. Wow. That was long winded! So long that I even want to tell them to SHUTUP! I live with a guy who does 7 and 9. Are you done with this wrapper that you left on the counter? Or were you going to use it for something? I m guilty of 9. I correct under my breath, and out loud with faux confusion. Be aware of the following I ve fallen for it a few times The Passive Aggressive TRAP: Have anything special planned this weekend? If I say no, I am left undefended for my Mother-in-law to say, Well then! You wouldn t mind if I bring over great Aunt Whatshername to see your new house! Or if I say yes, Oh! What are you doing? With who? What time? So you are booked Saturday, what about Sunday? By the way, hilarious post! I think that s just plain aggressive. No wait, maybe the non-passive way would be to say, I m bringing Great Aunt SoAndSo to your house this weekend. Let me know what time is good. Because it s happening. That last one is my favorite by far. I get SO FUCKING SICK of people who leave really ambiguous Facebook status updates. I have a good friend that does this and it makes me deliberately not ask what s happened. So annoying. Facebook is a great place to be passive-bragadocious, too. I ve seen updates like, Why are so many guys hitting on me today? LOL That last one is my favorite by far.
LOL Ooh I really like the Excuse me, you dropped something aka I just picked up your litter I ve done that a few times, but I found that it s much more effective to just pick it up and put it in the trash as if it wasn t a big deal.